Our plucky survivors travel west toward the Big Apple. Will New York City be a sanctuary that fulfills all of their fantasies or an apocalyptic hellscape?
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[00:00:00] Hmm? Ah! Hmm.
[00:00:04] On Welcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:00:06] Previously, on Welcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:00:09] Do these people look friendly standing in front of us?
[00:00:11] What do we have here?
[00:00:13] Holy shit guys, that's Robbie!
[00:00:15] He was like the first guy we met!
[00:00:16] Robbie is like kind of crazy and you can't really predict what he's gonna do.
[00:00:20] Cause now Robbie has a gun pointed at us.
[00:00:22] You son of a bitch!
[00:00:23] Get behind cover!
[00:00:24] We could've had a life together!
[00:00:26] I can't think of a way out of this!
[00:00:28] Hey! Guys! Get in!
[00:00:29] Get in!
[00:00:30] Wait, what?
[00:00:31] It's George!
[00:00:33] So remember that place?
[00:00:34] In California or something like that?
[00:00:35] Yeah, the safe zone.
[00:00:37] We're going there!
[00:00:37] Let's travel together for a little bit.
[00:00:41] Well that wraps our story up in a nice little bow, doesn't it?
[00:00:56] Hey Zep! Get out of the road man!
[00:00:59] I keep telling you, you're gonna get hit by a car!
[00:01:01] They will see my fancy petticoats from far away and they will stop.
[00:01:05] For fuck's sake Zep!
[00:01:07] It is the great Zeppolini. I would prefer if you used my full name.
[00:01:11] Man, you know I can't say that whole thing or whatever the heck.
[00:01:15] I don't worry for-
[00:01:15] Idiot American!
[00:01:17] Zep! You know what?
[00:01:20] Ah! My baguettes!
[00:01:22] Yeah, that's right. There's more where that came from.
[00:01:24] Hey!
[00:01:26] Who is that Sun the Horizon?
[00:01:28] Hey guys, wait up!
[00:01:29] I'm waiting. I'm waiting up.
[00:01:31] Yeah, what do you want?
[00:01:32] Sorry! Just-
[00:01:33] Okay, just-
[00:01:33] I'm just trying to-
[00:01:35] Running. Okay, whoo!
[00:01:36] Why are you running?
[00:01:37] Because I needed to catch up with you guys! Come on!
[00:01:40] Chill cold!
[00:01:42] Tell me-
[00:01:43] Tell me who you are!
[00:01:44] My name is Suzanne!
[00:01:46] Oh!
[00:01:46] That's not a real name!
[00:01:48] Yeah, it's Ann Summers. I'm not that one. I'm a different Suzanne Summers. My mother was a big fan.
[00:01:55] But, there's- that is no way to treat a lady.
[00:01:59] Okay, guys! Come on!
[00:02:00] Okay!
[00:02:00] Let her go.
[00:02:01] Okay, fine. I'll let you go.
[00:02:03] Alright, I am going to pull out my sword and hold it to her neck. This is a much more polite way to interrogate a mademoiselle such as this.
[00:02:10] Okay! Get your sword away from me. God, I'm just- I was on my way out of New York,
[00:02:16] and I have just left another group because they proved to not be able to handle it,
[00:02:20] because they were gonna let people live.
[00:02:23] Oh.
[00:02:23] I needed to get out of there. It wasn't a good scene, and now I'm here, and I'm hoping you guys are the-
[00:02:29] The- the unlikable murderer type.
[00:02:31] Well-
[00:02:31] Because that- that is me.
[00:02:33] Well, I just- I just think there's dead weight, and uh-
[00:02:37] Heh.
[00:02:37] Yeah.
[00:02:37] I like how tough you are. My name's Buck. Buck Knife. And I'm looking for my brother!
[00:02:44] Okay.
[00:02:45] I am the Great Zeppolini. I am a traveling dandy extraordinaire,
[00:02:50] a gentleman thief warrior, and all things, uh, gentlemanly and chivalrous.
[00:02:56] Yeah, I see you've got a cape and a sword and a funny little mustache. I-
[00:03:00] It is not funny.
[00:03:01] Okay.
[00:03:01] Zeb! It's a bit funny. Stomach punch!
[00:03:04] Huh!
[00:03:04] Ugh!
[00:03:05] Jacques Cousteau!
[00:03:06] I said quit calling me that!
[00:03:09] So I'm really feeling like maybe you guys are not who I was hoping for, but maybe we can walk along for a bit together.
[00:03:16] I- I don't know, did you- did you guys come in from New York City? Because I was just- I was there, I tried to stay, it's my home, but-
[00:03:22] I had to leave.
[00:03:23] Yes, we are well aware of what has happened in the old Grande Appel, Pomme de Terre in my country.
[00:03:32] It- what?
[00:03:32] What he's trying to say is we came from New York and that place was a shithole!
[00:03:37] Yes.
[00:03:37] And we're not going back! So yeah, if you want to walk along the road with us, you're welcome!
[00:03:42] Merde!
[00:03:44] Hey, what'd you just call me?
[00:03:45] Uh, it is French for shit. Maybe you would know that's if you were a little more cultured.
[00:03:50] Oh, you son of a bitch. Look, I might be a redneck with a heart of gold, but I'm a-
[00:03:58] French stomach punch!
[00:04:00] Oh, a low blow.
[00:04:02] Look, what's your name? Zeffirelli?
[00:04:04] He's the great Zeppolini.
[00:04:06] Okay, you better just-
[00:04:07] I am a gentleman extraordinaire, but also a little bit dishonorable, so maybe I'm not quite a gentleman, I don't know.
[00:04:12] Look, I like that your whole thing is you got a cape and you got a sword and you got your twirly little mustache.
[00:04:17] I have a feather in my hat and I will not be calling it macaroni, I am no filthy Yankee.
[00:04:23] Can you just shut the fuck up for a minute?
[00:04:25] Oh, why I never-
[00:04:26] Okay, excuse me. Buck?
[00:04:28] Yeah?
[00:04:29] You seem to be a bit of a leader around here. Can you come over here and talk to me? Let's walk into the middle of the road a little bit.
[00:04:33] Yeah!
[00:04:34] Yeah. Zeb, you stay over there.
[00:04:36] Okay.
[00:04:36] Twirl your mustache or whatever.
[00:04:38] I will apply some flesh wax to the mustache.
[00:04:41] Okay, Buck, you seem like you know the lay of the land here. You know what's going on. I think-
[00:04:45] Yeah.
[00:04:46] I think we need to drop the dead weight. I mean, that guy in the-
[00:04:50] He does feel like dead weight.
[00:04:52] I think we need to let him go.
[00:04:53] What is that loud engine sound coming over the horizon?
[00:04:57] Shut up, Zepp! Okay, listen. We take his-
[00:04:58] I'll take his sword. You just strangle him with that fucking cape and we'll just get out of here.
[00:05:03] Okay, well-
[00:05:04] Comrade, should we turn around and-
[00:05:07] Zepp, shut up, man.
[00:05:08] Shut up! Just shut up, Zepp. We're talking about your future.
[00:05:11] Okay.
[00:05:12] Look, I'm a redneck with a heart of gold, but I know when you gotta kill a guy.
[00:05:16] I do hear a large vehicle coming, but I do not want to interrupt Zeracide. It would be ungentlemanly-
[00:05:24] Oh my god.
[00:05:24] And I'm a tough New Yorker who doesn't need to be pushed around by a man in a cape.
[00:05:30] Well, I'm glad I learned your backstory, because I imagine we're probably gonna be hanging out a lot.
[00:05:35] I think so.
[00:05:36] Oh, yeah. These are voices like I could see listening to for, I don't know, 10, 11 episodes. You know what I'm saying.
[00:05:45] Yeah, I think we're great.
[00:05:47] Get houses away, man!
[00:05:48] What- what you calling a-
[00:05:50] AHHHHH!
[00:05:53] Looking for adventure.
[00:05:56] And whatever comes our way, more to be watched.
[00:06:01] Wait a minute!
[00:06:02] Hey, Margaret, did we- did we hit something?
[00:06:05] Oh, oh no!
[00:06:07] Margaret! Margaret, when you're driving, you're supposed to watch the road, not just sing along!
[00:06:11] I don't- I forgot to tell you guys, I left my glasses on that Aerosmith ride.
[00:06:16] But we went- oh my goodness, we worked so hard to get those for you!
[00:06:20] I- everything in the road sort of looks the same, but I figured it's the apocalypse. It doesn't matter.
[00:06:25] This is your 10th pair of glasses. We cannot keep doing this.
[00:06:29] Okay, I- I think it looked like people, but it was probably just three zombies standing around.
[00:06:33] One of them had a cape. I mean, what kind of person would wear a cape in an apocalypse?
[00:06:37] That's like some really annoying behavior. He's- that zombie is peacocking.
[00:06:42] Yeah, I think it's fine. I think we just killed three zombies and it's- I think we don't need to feel any guilt or shame.
[00:06:48] Okay, I'm trying- I will- I- oh, look at that! My glasses were in my pocket!
[00:06:53] Oh my god, put them on, Margaret! Or- oh, oh wait, stop, stop! Adam!
[00:06:58] I mean, Margaret, whoever's driving. Um, who is driving?
[00:07:03] It's me. I'm driving.
[00:07:05] Okay, Margaret, stop! Stop, stop, stop! This is where we're supposed-
[00:07:09] Yeah, just- just put the brakes! Come on, Margaret!
[00:07:12] This is where we're supposed to meet George and his family!
[00:07:14] Oh, sorry, sorry. I always get the gas in the brake.
[00:07:18] Yeah, it's- I'm- yeah, we've noticed. Okay.
[00:07:20] And I'm pulling over and- hold on, hold on, I've got a parallel park it.
[00:07:27] Oop, oop, oh, I hit it!
[00:07:29] Hey, you've hit- you've hit every car, including the one on the other side of the road somehow.
[00:07:34] I don't really know how that happened.
[00:07:36] I'm just gonna stop right here in the road. I don't think it matters.
[00:07:40] Hmm, I don't see them. I hope they're okay.
[00:07:44] Oh no, Elizabeth.
[00:07:45] I just miss him so much.
[00:07:47] Hey, this is my cheerio. George left this letter titled,
[00:07:50] Goodbye, My Apocalypse Friend.
[00:07:53] He what?
[00:07:54] Angry- give me that angry, Adam!
[00:07:56] What? Oh my god.
[00:07:57] We get so many letters and calls for help over the radio. I- I can't keep track of all this.
[00:08:01] Look, it's- it's from George.
[00:08:03] George.
[00:08:04] Oh, you put your hook through the middle of- ugh. I hope that wasn't an important- important letter.
[00:08:10] Here, here, Elizabeth, you-
[00:08:12] Yeah?
[00:08:12] I've already lost my- I lost my glasses again. Elizabeth, can you read this?
[00:08:16] Yeah, I will.
[00:08:17] They're on your head!
[00:08:19] Oh! So they are. Thank you, Angry Adam. Um, Elizabeth-
[00:08:25] I was getting worried you two might have done something to them.
[00:08:28] Oh.
[00:08:28] Like, maybe one of you accidentally, like, totally not meaning to, like, murder the entire family,
[00:08:33] but I'm glad that's not what it is because if there's a note, probably wasn't murder.
[00:08:38] No, that wouldn't be me. I'm- I'm pretty, uh, I'm pretty stable and predictable, I think.
[00:08:42] What? I just needed to make sure no one was losing their mind. Okay.
[00:08:45] Hey, Angry Adam?
[00:08:46] Yeah?
[00:08:46] Can I talk to you for one second?
[00:08:48] Yeah, Margaret. Yeah, let's do a little sidebar.
[00:08:51] Just keep an eye on Elizabeth. I just- I feel like-
[00:08:55] Yeah, she's acting- she's acting kind of weird.
[00:08:57] She seems a little down, and out of the three of us, maybe she's the-
[00:09:01] And if she's a little down, she might get a little murdery, and then she starts, you know.
[00:09:06] Okay, yep. Okay, so, so our, our job today is to keep her happy and upbeat, okay?
[00:09:12] Oh, okay.
[00:09:13] Okay, um-
[00:09:14] Okay, um, hey!
[00:09:15] Hey, guys, can I open this letter now? I'm really eager to learn what it is.
[00:09:18] Yes! I mean, maybe it's George confessing to having murdered his entire family.
[00:09:21] Oh.
[00:09:21] Okay, I'm gonna open it. Are you ready?
[00:09:23] We're ready.
[00:09:24] Okay, it says, dear Elizabeth-
[00:09:29] Oh, I'm first. Dear Elizabeth-
[00:09:31] Dear Elizabeth, Margaret, and Angry Adam. Hi.
[00:09:34] Good kid. You remembered the full thing.
[00:09:36] That's all of us.
[00:09:36] He did, he remembered us. Um, his handwriting is not the tidiest, so-
[00:09:41] Oh, the American school system really did go downhill before it like really went down downhill.
[00:09:45] What are you writing, yellow crayon? We had other crayons.
[00:09:48] Uh, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try-
[00:09:50] It's the worst color.
[00:09:51] Okay, I'm gonna try and decipher it. Hi.
[00:09:55] Hi. It's me, George.
[00:09:56] Hi, George.
[00:09:57] There's some bad news.
[00:09:59] Oh no.
[00:09:59] It seems that my family isn't like you anymore.
[00:10:02] What?
[00:10:02] What?
[00:10:03] What did I do?
[00:10:04] I heard my parents talking, and they said that Elizabeth was trying to claim me as her own son.
[00:10:09] Oh no. He, I guess he noticed I just, I guess I was a bit too clingy. I mean-
[00:10:15] No, no. No, no. Let me, Elizabeth, let me see that letter.
[00:10:18] Okay. Okay.
[00:10:19] There's no way this is your fault.
[00:10:22] Um, also, that guy-
[00:10:25] Angry Adam is wicked weird.
[00:10:27] He kept trying to give me guns, and my parents said that that was dangerous because his guns kept going off.
[00:10:34] Pfft. Dangerous.
[00:10:35] That's true, but Adam's just trying to teach him how to be a man in the new world.
[00:10:40] Yeah.
[00:10:40] That's true, yeah.
[00:10:41] Yeah.
[00:10:41] Safeties slow you down. Okay, that is why all of the safeties on my gun have been removed.
[00:10:47] Well, that is not okay.
[00:10:50] Also, it says that at one point, Angry Adam-
[00:10:53] Angry Adam showed me the inside of a zombie's stomach, and then he draped them around my neck and said,
[00:10:59] Hey, look at you, kiddo. You're creepy now.
[00:11:02] I mean-
[00:11:02] It was really creepy.
[00:11:04] In the absence-
[00:11:04] I mean-
[00:11:05] Children love-
[00:11:05] It was pretty, it was pretty cool, and they didn't smell as bad as they usually do, so I was like,
[00:11:11] this is fine. Like, a child can handle some zombie intestines.
[00:11:14] And like, children love dress up, and we don't have a lot of toys. I don't know what they thought.
[00:11:18] I mean, they weren't giving him any stimulation. Adam was just trying to give him a fun time.
[00:11:23] I'm angry Adam here. You read the rest of this.
[00:11:26] Yes. And uh, it look- and my parents also did not like-
[00:11:33] That Margaret kept trying to feed me where those originals that were covered in cat hair and pocket lint.
[00:11:39] That's just a grandma's job.
[00:11:41] Yeah, I just wanted to give the little fella some sweets. It's not my fault he kept throwing up.
[00:11:48] Also-
[00:11:49] My parents found a more fuel efficient vehicle on the side of the road when we were-
[00:11:54] Aw, come on.
[00:11:55] They're not doing the math.
[00:11:57] Clearly, it's not- it's not the- there's no way.
[00:12:01] Oh.
[00:12:02] So, okay, what does it say at the end? It says, so-
[00:12:05] So unfortunately.
[00:12:06] Oh, what a good boy. He knows the word unfortunately, and he spelled it right.
[00:12:09] So unfortunately.
[00:12:11] Oh.
[00:12:12] Oh.
[00:12:12] We're leaving. And I love you.
[00:12:14] Yo-ho-ho.
[00:12:15] I'll miss you. Goodbye.
[00:12:17] Wow.
[00:12:18] Wow.
[00:12:19] Georgie.
[00:12:21] Oh, Georgie. That's why he hasn't been around.
[00:12:24] George.
[00:12:25] George.
[00:12:26] Angry Adam.
[00:12:27] What?
[00:12:28] You were holding this the whole time.
[00:12:30] I mean, Margaret, to be fair, we didn't really notice they were gone.
[00:12:35] Yeah, I'm- but- but I'm more angry at- angry Adam than I am at myself, naturally.
[00:12:42] Yeah, well, he does deserve it.
[00:12:44] What?
[00:12:45] Listen-
[00:12:45] Oh my god, I can't catch no- I get no respect.
[00:12:48] Okay, so I think we need to cheer ourselves up. How about we talk about how excited we are to go to New York?
[00:12:53] Oh, I am so excited. I got my I Heart New York patches that I have carefully cross-stitched onto my leather jacket.
[00:13:02] You can see.
[00:13:02] Nice. I also like your new tattoo that you drew on yourself with Sharpie that it's the Statue of Liberty, I think?
[00:13:08] Yeah, but she's got-
[00:13:10] She's got guns?
[00:13:11] Yeah, she's got a big sword and a gun, and it's a jet pack.
[00:13:18] I feel like the Statue of Liberty, in its role in defending the great nation of America, they really should have made it a little bit more mobile.
[00:13:26] I don't think that's what it's-
[00:13:29] No, it's like the Guardian of New York. It protects against- against threats, like monsters and stuff.
[00:13:36] Yeah, yeah. The American school system is hard at work in this fire truck.
[00:13:41] That's- that's what happened in the 1930s. That's what caused the Great Depression. It was like a big monster, right?
[00:13:48] Not- not that I recall. I don't- well, huh? Well, you know what I'm excited for? I'm excited to visit the M&M store.
[00:13:59] Oh, yeah.
[00:14:00] Could you imagine a whole handful of brown M&Ms and none of the gross ones?
[00:14:06] Yes. I can't wait for the Rockettes. Do you think the Rockettes are still performing?
[00:14:11] They've gotta be performing. They're a New York staple.
[00:14:13] I mean, they're a New York staple, and I think- I mean, I just think some of the shops will still be there, and if they're not staffed properly, like, maybe I can just, like, go through and take things.
[00:14:23] But maybe there's a barter system. Maybe I should start working on some things to barter. Just, like, barter for, like, really cool-
[00:14:28] I mean, I've always wanted to kind of, like, go to Williamsburg and, like, have a coffee in, like, a cool coffee shop.
[00:14:35] I never got to New York before.
[00:14:37] You think they'll accept payment in, like, zombie teeth? I have a lot of them.
[00:14:42] I mean, probably somewhere. I bet lots of hipsters are wearing zombie-toothed necklaces.
[00:14:47] I used the emotional support bucket we got from Roger and Sally. I've actually- it's filled with zombie teeth.
[00:14:54] That's great.
[00:14:56] You've been collecting zombie teeth the whole time?
[00:14:59] Yeah. Yeah, no, pretty much the whole time, yeah.
[00:15:02] Oh, wow.
[00:15:03] I just never mentioned it, or alluded to it in any way.
[00:15:06] Yeah, well, okay, we all have our secrets, and we all have our own hobbies, and I think that's good and healthy.
[00:15:11] I gotta say, I'm also hoping that maybe there'll be some cute boys. I mean, men. Like, adult men. Adult men.
[00:15:18] Yes. Yep.
[00:15:19] That I can, like-
[00:15:20] A lot of clarification on that one, but-
[00:15:22] Well, you know, just since our experience with George, I want to make sure people know that, like-
[00:15:26] Yes.
[00:15:26] There were boys who were our child, and then there are men that I wouldn't mind marrying.
[00:15:31] Yep.
[00:15:31] Okay, Elizabeth, again.
[00:15:33] I want you to take some of your relationships a little bit slower.
[00:15:38] Do you remember Jonathan?
[00:15:40] Yeah.
[00:15:40] Oh, yeah.
[00:15:40] That relationship ended pretty badly.
[00:15:43] It's true. It did almost get us all killed.
[00:15:46] And I don't think we ever acknowledged, his head was shaped like an ass.
[00:15:51] I didn't know if any of you noticed.
[00:15:54] I just, I think you can, I think you could do better.
[00:15:57] Okay, well, I think there'll be some way cooler and smarter and hotter and nicer men in Brooklyn.
[00:16:03] Please tell me we're going to go to Brooklyn.
[00:16:05] Oh, yeah, we are.
[00:16:06] Can we watch a Mets game?
[00:16:09] Now?
[00:16:09] Yeah, of course.
[00:16:10] Do you think they'll, they'll still be able to win a game even if they're not playing against anyone?
[00:16:15] Well, maybe they play against volunteers from the crowd.
[00:16:18] Yeah.
[00:16:19] I mean, that's what I would do.
[00:16:20] It does seem like, of all the places in the world, New York is probably doing really well.
[00:16:24] It's an island.
[00:16:26] It's so defendable.
[00:16:27] I think it's going to be fine.
[00:16:29] Zombies, they can't swim.
[00:16:31] No.
[00:16:32] No?
[00:16:32] Okay, let's keep going.
[00:16:34] Margaret, maybe I should drive for a bit?
[00:16:36] Oh, yeah.
[00:16:37] Hi.
[00:16:38] Bye.
[00:16:39] I should let you guys know I never actually got my license.
[00:16:44] Oh, well.
[00:16:45] So this has been illegal this whole time?
[00:16:49] We could have got pulled over.
[00:16:50] We're going to need to really follow the rules in New York because the New York public, I mean, the New York police, what are they?
[00:16:56] New York City police?
[00:16:57] What are they called?
[00:16:58] NYPD?
[00:16:59] The New York City Police Department?
[00:17:01] I think they're the PDNY.
[00:17:02] Something like that.
[00:17:03] PDNY.
[00:17:03] Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
[00:17:05] They are like some of the most famous police in the world.
[00:17:09] And I bet they're still there.
[00:17:11] I bet they're, I mean, Law and Order, NYPD Blue, various YouTube videos.
[00:17:20] I know that the police are very famous and forceful, and I bet they would arrest you.
[00:17:26] So I will do the driving.
[00:17:29] Okay.
[00:17:30] Hey, guys.
[00:17:32] Looking at the guests, Tringer Bobber?
[00:17:35] I can never remember the name of this.
[00:17:37] It looks like we're allowed to-
[00:17:38] No, it's called, it's a Tringer Bobber.
[00:17:40] That's what it's called.
[00:17:40] Thank you, Angry Adam.
[00:17:41] You've been teaching me a lot about engines.
[00:17:43] Yeah.
[00:17:44] You gotta move the thingy-ma-bob to get the jingle timer into place.
[00:17:49] You're so smart.
[00:17:51] See, Margaret, in this new world, we don't have to just let men say shit and agree with it.
[00:17:59] Oh.
[00:18:00] You don't have to just build them up and make them feel good all the time anymore.
[00:18:04] You can tell Adam that he's not making any sense.
[00:18:09] Oh.
[00:18:10] Listen, I don't make the rules of engines, okay?
[00:18:12] I wasn't around when Jonathan Jingleheimer invented the engine.
[00:18:17] Okay, well, so now here I am.
[00:18:20] I'm stuck in the middle of listening to a man or listening to a woman, and hey, look, a gas station.
[00:18:28] We should go get some while we're right here.
[00:18:30] Oh, maybe they have snacks.
[00:18:32] Yeah, let me pull out my credit card.
[00:18:36] I'm gonna pull the fire truck a little bit closer.
[00:18:39] Yeah, like next to the gas pump.
[00:18:42] Yeah.
[00:18:42] So we can get gas.
[00:18:44] That would be good.
[00:18:45] Yeah.
[00:18:45] You tried spraying it.
[00:18:47] It just didn't work.
[00:18:48] Yeah, I thought I could arc it, like, into the...
[00:18:52] Yeah, no.
[00:18:53] It didn't really work.
[00:18:54] Okay.
[00:18:55] Angry Adam, you wanna pump the gas?
[00:18:56] Yeah, yeah.
[00:18:57] I'll get out.
[00:18:58] I'm hopping out.
[00:18:59] Oh, there's some real blood on the front of the truck.
[00:19:02] That's interesting.
[00:19:03] Oh, probably.
[00:19:04] There must have been fresh zombies that we had.
[00:19:06] Just fresh.
[00:19:06] Yeah, it was zombies.
[00:19:08] Fresh zombies.
[00:19:09] Okay, so let me put in my information.
[00:19:12] Do you wanna go check inside for some snacks?
[00:19:14] Yeah, let's go check some snacks, and maybe there's, like, sunglasses or, like, books or magazines or whatever.
[00:19:19] I'm just gonna stand here and pump this gas.
[00:19:23] Okay.
[00:19:24] You have your credit card, right?
[00:19:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:19:27] No, I already scanned it in.
[00:19:28] Okay.
[00:19:29] And I gotta put on my pen.
[00:19:30] I'm sure I'm glad this system is still functioning.
[00:19:33] I know.
[00:19:34] It does make me feel better that, you know, at some point we'll know people.
[00:19:40] Okay.
[00:19:41] Okay, oh, look over here.
[00:19:42] There's new bandages.
[00:19:43] We do need some more band-aids.
[00:19:44] We used them all up when George scanned his little knee.
[00:19:46] Oh, I remember that.
[00:19:48] Yeah.
[00:19:49] Okay, over here, we have some of those bunions that Angry Adam really likes.
[00:19:54] Oh!
[00:19:54] Margaret!
[00:19:55] Margaret, come here.
[00:19:57] Margaret, come here.
[00:19:58] What?
[00:19:58] What?
[00:19:59] There's a guy behind the counter.
[00:20:01] They're coming.
[00:20:03] Excuse me, sir?
[00:20:05] Sir, it's okay.
[00:20:06] Are you okay?
[00:20:08] No.
[00:20:09] They're coming.
[00:20:10] My name is Elizabeth, and I'm a nurse practitioner, and I'm, um, can I be of assistance to you?
[00:20:15] Are you hurt in some way?
[00:20:15] The bad men.
[00:20:17] They're coming.
[00:20:18] Do you mean zombies?
[00:20:19] No.
[00:20:21] No, the zombies.
[00:20:22] I can deal with them, but not, not the other ones.
[00:20:26] The other ones?
[00:20:27] Oh, this is ominous.
[00:20:30] Um, sir, would you like to get out from back there?
[00:20:34] No, no, no.
[00:20:35] It's not safe out there.
[00:20:37] Okay.
[00:20:38] Okay, well, we have, like, a fire truck, and we just found some snacks, and-
[00:20:41] The truck?
[00:20:42] We're doing a sing-along.
[00:20:43] Not the trucks.
[00:20:44] No.
[00:20:45] Okay.
[00:20:45] Oh, Elizabeth, backup, backup.
[00:20:47] Okay.
[00:20:47] I think maybe we should-
[00:20:49] Okay.
[00:20:49] He has a gun.
[00:20:50] Okay.
[00:20:51] Um, sir, I'm just going to leave my credit card on the counter, and we're going to take
[00:20:57] these things.
[00:20:58] Okay.
[00:20:59] It'll be $5.99 plus sex.
[00:21:02] Okay.
[00:21:02] Um, here's-
[00:21:03] Well, actually, I have cash.
[00:21:05] Here's that.
[00:21:05] Oh, okay.
[00:21:06] Yeah, take your card, Margaret.
[00:21:07] We'll need it for New York.
[00:21:09] That's true.
[00:21:09] Yeah.
[00:21:09] We're going to New York.
[00:21:12] Would you like an iHeart New York keychain?
[00:21:16] Uh, yeah.
[00:21:17] Yeah.
[00:21:17] Awesome.
[00:21:17] Thank you.
[00:21:18] It'll only be 99 cents.
[00:21:20] Okay.
[00:21:21] Um, I can pay you on these zombie teeth.
[00:21:24] Oh, yeah, we accept zombie teeth.
[00:21:26] Okay.
[00:21:27] But hey, hey.
[00:21:28] Yep.
[00:21:29] Be careful out there.
[00:21:30] Watch out for the bad men.
[00:21:34] Okay.
[00:21:35] Okay.
[00:21:35] Thank you.
[00:21:36] We always do.
[00:21:37] Um, okay.
[00:21:39] Well, you take care, dear.
[00:21:41] Elizabeth, let's get out of here.
[00:21:43] Let's get out of here.
[00:21:45] Adam, hurry up with the truck.
[00:21:47] We gotta go.
[00:21:48] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:49] I'm pumping.
[00:21:50] And I'm done.
[00:21:51] Oh, good time.
[00:21:52] Wow, that was perfect.
[00:21:53] Let's get in the truck and be angry, Adam.
[00:21:56] Yeah.
[00:21:57] Um, you were pumping gas for a while, so you're probably tired.
[00:22:00] Elizabeth, you drive.
[00:22:02] Yeah, I was pretty tired.
[00:22:02] Okay, everyone, are you-
[00:22:03] Put your seatbelts on.
[00:22:04] I don't want to get pulled over.
[00:22:05] Oh, see.
[00:22:07] By the NYPD blues.
[00:22:08] Okay, I'm buckled.
[00:22:09] I'm buckled up.
[00:22:11] Okay.
[00:22:12] Snip, snip, snip.
[00:22:14] Wow.
[00:22:15] This is a really complicated buckle.
[00:22:16] Elizabeth, angry Adam's on my side of the seats.
[00:22:22] Oh, Margaret, um, so what?
[00:22:29] Okay, fair point.
[00:22:31] All right.
[00:22:32] Yeah, I'm not gonna justify that with a response.
[00:22:35] I'm just-
[00:22:37] I'm just sitting here.
[00:22:38] I'm- I'm minding my business.
[00:22:40] I'm just sitting down.
[00:22:42] Okay, maybe in New York we'll meet some new people and we won't- we'll have some more friends.
[00:22:46] I think we're maybe going a little stir crazy.
[00:22:48] I think we need, like, a little bit of stimulation.
[00:22:50] Okay, I'm gonna go.
[00:22:51] I'm gonna start driving.
[00:22:52] Here we go.
[00:22:53] Okay.
[00:22:54] Adam, sing some songs for us so we have music.
[00:22:57] Wheels on the truck go round and round.
[00:22:59] Round.
[00:23:00] Round and round.
[00:23:01] Round and round.
[00:23:02] Round and round.
[00:23:02] Oh.
[00:23:02] Wheels on the truck go round and round and only hit zombies.
[00:23:06] We haven't hit any real people.
[00:23:08] Woo!
[00:23:08] We are pretty sure.
[00:23:10] Uh-huh.
[00:23:11] Wheels on the truck go round and round and don't commit vehicular manslaughter.
[00:23:16] Oh.
[00:23:17] Margaret, Adam, and I are going for a quick sidebar.
[00:23:21] Hold on.
[00:23:21] We'll be right back.
[00:23:30] Oh, we're off.
[00:23:30] Wow.
[00:23:30] Wheels on the truck are continuing to go round and round.
[00:23:33] Okay, Adam!
[00:23:33] Round and round.
[00:23:34] Yeah.
[00:23:34] Adam, you can-
[00:23:35] It's been three- three full, very full hours of your song, but I see some signs-
[00:23:41] And I could keep going.
[00:23:43] No, I really- I think let's- let's turn off the radio and I- what's the sign up there?
[00:23:49] Say, Margaret-
[00:23:49] You have to- you have to press the dial on the jacket to make me stop singing.
[00:23:53] I'm going to press the dial on the side of your mouth, young man.
[00:23:56] No, just let me play-
[00:23:57] That one is not for the radio.
[00:23:59] Okay, where's the dial on your jacket, Adam?
[00:24:02] It's right here.
[00:24:03] Boop!
[00:24:04] Done.
[00:24:05] All right, the radio's off.
[00:24:06] I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have made that so easy.
[00:24:09] Oh, look.
[00:24:09] Yeah.
[00:24:10] That sign up there.
[00:24:11] Yeah, the signs.
[00:24:11] Margaret, what did they say?
[00:24:12] What does it say?
[00:24:13] It says New York, 10 miles.
[00:24:15] Oh!
[00:24:17] It kind of- it feels like we should be able to see it.
[00:24:21] Yeah, I'm not really seeing much anything.
[00:24:24] I- I don't know how- I don't know what miles are.
[00:24:28] Oh.
[00:24:29] I- I- I- I assume that's close?
[00:24:32] Yeah, um, yeah, um, in kilometers, that's, um, a hundred thousand kilometers, I think?
[00:24:40] Yeah, it's about- I think one million kilometers, probably.
[00:24:44] Okay, so we're pretty close.
[00:24:45] Yeah.
[00:24:46] Yeah.
[00:24:46] Okay, I think when we get there, we might need to- I think we should stay together.
[00:24:49] It'll be tempting to split up, so how about-
[00:24:51] I don't- um-
[00:24:52] Wait, uh, just- uh, are you guys seeing on the sides of the road here?
[00:24:57] A lot of these trees are bending backwards.
[00:25:00] It's odd.
[00:25:02] There's a lot of- there's a lot more craters than I thought there would be.
[00:25:05] I would think, like, Lady Liberty would do, like, a better job of, like, patrolling the borders.
[00:25:10] I don't see a skyline, really.
[00:25:13] Isn't there normally, like, a New York City-
[00:25:16] Yeah, there's some iconic shapes, big rectangles that we all know and love.
[00:25:21] I don't see any.
[00:25:22] It's looking a lot more deserty than I would assume the area outside of New York would be.
[00:25:29] Yeah, and the- the sort of ominous red haze in the- in the sky, that-
[00:25:34] I mean, I know it's like a big apple, but I thought it was more of, like, a Granny Smith than a red-
[00:25:38] You guys, look over to the right.
[00:25:40] Look at that.
[00:25:41] It's like a weird-
[00:25:42] The other direction, Adam.
[00:25:44] Yeah, the other right.
[00:25:45] It's like a giant metal structure.
[00:25:49] It looks like it's got severed heads hanging from it.
[00:25:54] Oh, no.
[00:25:55] And those are not- those are not zombie heads.
[00:25:57] That's not great.
[00:25:59] Um, those were-
[00:26:01] Okay.
[00:26:02] Okay.
[00:26:04] Are the doors- just make sure the doors are locked, okay?
[00:26:06] Yeah, lock the doors.
[00:26:07] It's locked the doors.
[00:26:08] Okay, I don't- I don't see any people, though.
[00:26:10] Well, you know, this could just be, um, a suburb.
[00:26:11] This could just be the suburb, and we're gonna get into, you know, New York, where it's all cool and happening.
[00:26:17] Be a part of it.
[00:26:19] New York.
[00:26:20] New York.
[00:26:21] Na-na-na-na-na.
[00:26:22] Na-na-na-na-na.
[00:26:23] Oh, no.
[00:26:25] No.
[00:26:26] Oh, no.
[00:26:26] Look at that.
[00:26:27] Uh-oh.
[00:26:28] That sign right there says,
[00:26:31] Welcome to New York.
[00:26:32] We're now entering New York, and it is a crater.
[00:26:36] Oh, stop!
[00:26:38] The truck!
[00:26:38] Ah!
[00:26:41] The wheels almost went down.
[00:26:43] We're right on the edge.
[00:26:44] Get out of the truck, guys.
[00:26:46] Let's go.
[00:26:46] Okay.
[00:26:46] Oh, my God.
[00:26:47] Oh, my God.
[00:26:49] It's just a giant hole.
[00:26:51] What the hell?
[00:26:53] What happened to New York?
[00:26:56] Does this mean there's no more Rockettes?
[00:27:00] Or brown M&Ms?
[00:27:02] No more Mets game?
[00:27:03] Where they'll definitely win?
[00:27:05] Yeah.
[00:27:07] Okay.
[00:27:07] Okay.
[00:27:08] Let's just put our detective hats on real quick.
[00:27:11] Okay.
[00:27:11] Hold on.
[00:27:11] Give me a second.
[00:27:12] I gotta find them.
[00:27:13] It's a figure of speech, Adam.
[00:27:16] I...
[00:27:16] Why did I get these detective hats, then, if we're never gonna use them?
[00:27:19] I'll put one on.
[00:27:20] I'll put one on.
[00:27:21] I'll put one on.
[00:27:22] Okay.
[00:27:22] Here's the corncob pipe.
[00:27:23] And there you go.
[00:27:24] And there you go.
[00:27:26] It's not a real...
[00:27:27] It's not...
[00:27:27] It blows bubbles.
[00:27:29] It's not a real pipe.
[00:27:30] Ooh.
[00:27:30] Yeah.
[00:27:30] Okay.
[00:27:31] That's kind of fun.
[00:27:32] Yeah.
[00:27:34] Okay.
[00:27:34] Okay.
[00:27:35] I'm sorry.
[00:27:35] Sorry.
[00:27:36] Um...
[00:27:37] Um...
[00:27:38] I don't know how to look for clues in this situation.
[00:27:41] There's just a giant hole.
[00:27:43] I don't...
[00:27:43] I...
[00:27:43] I may have...
[00:27:44] Yeah, what are we looking for?
[00:27:45] I got the big magnifying glass.
[00:27:47] Yeah, this is definitely some dirt.
[00:27:49] Little chunks of pavement.
[00:27:52] There's, uh...
[00:27:53] The Yankees hat.
[00:27:55] Oh, wait.
[00:27:55] Hold on.
[00:27:56] Look.
[00:27:56] Over there.
[00:27:57] There's a large truck headed our way.
[00:28:00] And...
[00:28:00] Oh.
[00:28:01] It looks like it's got...
[00:28:02] Maybe a zombie strapped onto the front.
[00:28:05] And...
[00:28:06] Ooh.
[00:28:06] Flames just came out of it.
[00:28:08] Okay, guys.
[00:28:09] Um...
[00:28:09] Maybe they need a fire truck.
[00:28:11] Maybe they want us to help them put out the fire.
[00:28:13] Yeah, they're like, hey, look at this.
[00:28:15] We need this extinguished.
[00:28:16] Maybe...
[00:28:17] Should we just come here?
[00:28:18] Come here.
[00:28:19] Um...
[00:28:19] Okay.
[00:28:19] Let's all gather.
[00:28:20] I feel quite nervous.
[00:28:21] This is not the New York I was expecting.
[00:28:23] Um...
[00:28:24] This is a little...
[00:28:24] The vibes are a little, uh...
[00:28:25] A little more, uh...
[00:28:27] Well, non-existent than I was kind of thinking.
[00:28:29] Okay, the...
[00:28:29] The truck is closer.
[00:28:31] They're stopping.
[00:28:31] Okay.
[00:28:32] Oop.
[00:28:32] Oop.
[00:28:32] Okay.
[00:28:33] Um...
[00:28:34] Splay cool.
[00:28:35] Yes.
[00:28:36] We'll all just...
[00:28:37] Um...
[00:28:38] Angry Adam, you go.
[00:28:39] Okay.
[00:28:40] Hey, how's it going?
[00:28:41] Hey, uh...
[00:28:43] Is that...
[00:28:43] Oh, that's a Molokov cocktail.
[00:28:45] We love those.
[00:28:46] Those are super cool.
[00:28:48] Hey, why are you...
[00:28:49] Hey!
[00:28:50] No!
[00:28:51] No!
[00:28:51] No!
[00:28:51] No!
[00:28:51] No!
[00:28:59] No!
[00:28:59] I'm Jenny.
[00:29:00] And I'm Randy.
[00:29:00] And I'm Rob.
[00:29:01] And thank you for listening to Welcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:29:06] Yeah, season two!
[00:29:07] Yeah!
[00:29:08] Woohoo!
[00:29:09] We're adding something new to season two.
[00:29:12] Some listener involvement.
[00:29:14] Oh.
[00:29:15] Each episode, our characters will have to use a line that you, the listener, suggested.
[00:29:20] So look for submission posts on our Instagram page at Welcome to the Apocalypse Pod.
[00:29:26] Or head over to the Podcastica Facebook page where there will also be submission posts.
[00:29:32] We'll reveal the next episode's line winner at the very end of this episode.
[00:29:37] If you'd like to send us any of your thoughts and questions, you can find all our contact
[00:29:41] information at podcastica.com.
[00:29:44] And while you're there, be sure to check out our other Podcastica shows like The Cast
[00:29:48] of Us.
[00:29:49] They'll be covering the Daryl Dixon...
[00:29:51] They'll be covering the Daryl Dixon show, which is starting this week, I believe, as we
[00:29:57] record.
[00:29:58] So check that out.
[00:30:00] They make the show so much more entertaining.
[00:30:03] And that is our show.
[00:30:05] Until next time, welcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:30:10] Nailed it.
[00:30:11] So for this first line winner pick, we'll show you how we're doing it.
[00:30:16] We're going to roll a dice to determine which of the three of us is going to read the line
[00:30:21] next episode.
[00:30:23] How many sides?
[00:30:24] Three.
[00:30:25] Three sides?
[00:30:27] Is that it?
[00:30:28] Is that it?
[00:30:29] I'll roll a D6.
[00:30:31] And it'll be 1 to 2 is Randy.
[00:30:35] 3 to 4 is Jenny.
[00:30:37] And then 5 to 6 is me.
[00:30:40] And it is a 3.
[00:30:41] So is you, Jen.
[00:30:42] Me?
[00:30:43] Okay.
[00:30:43] Yep.
[00:30:44] Okay.
[00:30:44] We have about 30 submissions here.
[00:30:48] Oh, wow.
[00:30:49] Rob, can you roll a die to determine which line we're using?
[00:30:55] All right.
[00:30:55] I'm going to do a 30-sided die.
[00:30:59] And we got 30.
[00:31:00] 30.
[00:31:01] Okay.
[00:31:01] Let's see.
[00:31:02] That would be...
[00:31:04] I think it's good.
[00:31:07] Baster.
[00:31:10] Amazing.
[00:31:13] Yep.
[00:31:14] Okay.
[00:31:16] Next time on Welcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:31:20] It's a good thing I have this turkey baster.