Our apocalyptic survivors have made it to New York City... or what's left of it. Fortunately, a Molotov cocktail launching maniac has shown up!
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[00:00:00] Previously on Welcome to the Apocalypse
[00:00:02] How about we talk about how excited we are to go to New York?
[00:00:05] Oh, I am so excited
[00:00:07] Stop the truck!
[00:00:08] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[00:00:10] What happened to New York?
[00:00:13] It's just a giant hole
[00:00:15] Herger, come here
[00:00:16] What? What?
[00:00:17] There's a guy behind the camera
[00:00:19] Oh, be careful out there
[00:00:20] Watch out for the bad men
[00:00:24] There's a large truck headed our way and...
[00:00:26] Hey, uh, is that...
[00:00:28] Oh, that's a Molokov Cocktail
[00:00:30] We love those, those are super cool
[00:00:32] Hey, why you...
[00:00:33] Hey, look out!
[00:00:35] Look out!
[00:00:36] Oh no!
[00:00:42] Ah, what the heck?
[00:00:44] Quick, come under the truck!
[00:00:46] Run!
[00:00:46] Okay
[00:00:47] Uh, guys, we have a fire extinguisher
[00:00:50] I'm just gonna put this out
[00:00:51] Okay, quick, yeah
[00:00:52] Wow
[00:00:53] Wow
[00:00:53] Right at us
[00:00:55] Oh, jeez
[00:00:56] Oh wait
[00:00:57] Wait, nope
[00:00:58] Oh, he threw another one
[00:01:00] Okay, let me just
[00:01:01] Okay, okay
[00:01:02] I'm just gonna hide in the back here
[00:01:03] Behind the truck
[00:01:05] While you guys do this
[00:01:06] Okay, um, Elizabeth, real quick
[00:01:08] Yeah?
[00:01:08] Um, I found this pack of cigarettes in the truck
[00:01:11] Have you taken up cigarettes again?
[00:01:13] Well, I just...
[00:01:15] It's just a little stress reliever
[00:01:17] I mean, lots of people in the medical community actually are smokers
[00:01:20] But...
[00:01:21] Is this the right time to have us...
[00:01:22] Is this the right time to have us...
[00:01:23] A third Molotov? Really?
[00:01:25] You're sorry, we'll come back to this
[00:01:26] We'll need to talk about this later
[00:01:28] Okay
[00:01:28] Oh my god
[00:01:29] It's a good thing this is a fire truck
[00:01:31] That's all I'm saying
[00:01:32] Come on out from back there
[00:01:34] Oh, he wants to talk instead of throwing fire
[00:01:38] He didn't say please
[00:01:39] I don't know
[00:01:40] That's true
[00:01:42] Please come out from back there
[00:01:44] Oh shit
[00:01:45] I think we have to now
[00:01:47] Um...
[00:01:47] Okay, um...
[00:01:49] I'm gonna...
[00:01:50] Hmm...
[00:01:50] Do you think I have time for a quick cigarette?
[00:01:52] Uh...
[00:01:52] Okay, sorry, Margaret
[00:01:54] Give me that cigarette
[00:01:54] Sorry, just kidding
[00:01:56] Here, here, light it on, uh, light it on these smoldering embers
[00:01:58] Angry Adam
[00:01:59] Don't encourage her
[00:02:00] Yeah, but it's cool to light your cigarettes in unconventional ways
[00:02:03] I'm loading another Molotov cocktail
[00:02:05] Okay, okay, we're coming
[00:02:07] We're coming
[00:02:08] We're coming, we're coming
[00:02:09] It's okay
[00:02:10] Maybe if we hold hands, we'll see if we're united
[00:02:11] Okay, careful of the hook
[00:02:13] I hold my hands
[00:02:13] Okay
[00:02:15] Sorry, my hands are so...
[00:02:16] Oh, sorry
[00:02:16] I'll just hold your wrist
[00:02:18] Okay
[00:02:18] Wearing a gas mask
[00:02:20] Should we be wearing gas masks?
[00:02:22] Should we be wearing gas masks, sir?
[00:02:25] Oh, fuck
[00:02:26] Hold on
[00:02:28] Oh, he's taking it off
[00:02:30] Don't worry about that
[00:02:32] That just makes me look intimidating
[00:02:35] It certainly does
[00:02:37] You've really...
[00:02:39] You've got it
[00:02:40] And very frightening
[00:02:42] Sorry about that
[00:02:44] I thought you were the devoted
[00:02:47] The...
[00:02:47] The...
[00:02:48] The what?
[00:02:49] The devoted?
[00:02:50] Yes
[00:02:50] I mean, I'm devoted to my friends here
[00:02:53] I'm...
[00:02:54] I'm devoted to being awesome
[00:02:55] That's, uh...
[00:02:56] That's sort of my personal devotion
[00:02:58] I'm devoted to helping the two of you discover your dreams
[00:03:01] I'm also seem to be devoted to cigarettes all of a sudden
[00:03:05] Um...
[00:03:05] Uh...
[00:03:06] Okay, but no, no, but no
[00:03:07] But no, like, capital D devoted, sir?
[00:03:10] No, we're not part of any group called the devoted
[00:03:12] No, not a group
[00:03:13] The ones wandering around with the lifeless eyes
[00:03:17] The ones that are, uh, truly devoted
[00:03:21] There's actually a couple of them approaching you right now
[00:03:24] Oh, you mean the zombies
[00:03:26] Oh, the zombies
[00:03:26] I don't think they're...
[00:03:27] The devoted?
[00:03:28] They don't seem...
[00:03:29] They seem a little lethargic to me
[00:03:31] I wouldn't necessarily say they're, like...
[00:03:33] Don't...
[00:03:33] Very passionate about anything
[00:03:35] Adam, don't contradict someone's reality, okay?
[00:03:38] What?
[00:03:38] Yeah, just, like, let them have it
[00:03:40] But what if I really want to?
[00:03:41] Maybe this is Adam's reality
[00:03:42] Maybe my reality is contradicting other people's reality
[00:03:45] Well, I'd say...
[00:03:46] Zombies are getting really close to us
[00:03:49] Yeah, yeah, hold on
[00:03:50] Okay
[00:03:51] Uh, hey, can I...
[00:03:52] Can I have one of those Molotov cocktails?
[00:03:54] Um, yes
[00:03:55] I encourage you, in fact
[00:03:57] Alright
[00:03:58] Because...
[00:03:58] I don't know if you have noticed
[00:04:00] But these devoted have climbed from the crater
[00:04:04] And their blood has become acidified
[00:04:08] So I'd suggest you not shoot them
[00:04:13] Oh, wow
[00:04:14] Alright
[00:04:19] Yes
[00:04:19] Okay, well, do you want to come into our truck with us?
[00:04:22] Or do you want us to come with you?
[00:04:23] Or should we just go our own way?
[00:04:25] Or, like, are we being captured?
[00:04:26] Or, like, what's going on right now?
[00:04:28] We've recently encountered a lot of ambiguous situations
[00:04:32] Uh, where we were, like, kinda being kidnapped
[00:04:35] Yeah
[00:04:35] But, like, people were, like, kinda talkative
[00:04:38] And I just...
[00:04:38] Can we just, like...
[00:04:39] You just, like, let us know ahead of time, like...
[00:04:42] Are we, like, in trouble?
[00:04:43] Or should we flee?
[00:04:45] Or is this all cool?
[00:04:46] Like, a weapon behind your back or anything?
[00:04:49] No, just these cigarettes
[00:04:51] Elizabeth, give me those
[00:04:53] Is this a third pack?
[00:04:55] Gee-bers...
[00:04:57] Okay
[00:04:57] Wait, she has a...
[00:04:59] Wait
[00:04:59] Margaret, look at her...
[00:05:00] That's like...
[00:05:01] Oh my...
[00:05:02] There's five packs of cigarettes
[00:05:03] Oh, she must have picked all of these up at that gas station
[00:05:06] I wasn't watching her closely
[00:05:08] This is bad
[00:05:09] Elizabeth, this is bad
[00:05:11] I'm sorry
[00:05:12] Well, uh...
[00:05:14] Heh heh
[00:05:14] I don't wanna hurt anybody
[00:05:16] Heh heh heh
[00:05:16] I just want to help you
[00:05:21] That sounds good
[00:05:22] I am in the helping professions as well
[00:05:25] I am a medical leader
[00:05:26] Also known as a nurse
[00:05:27] Well, uh...
[00:05:29] Very nice to meet you, nurse
[00:05:31] Should we, uh...
[00:05:32] Have this conversation
[00:05:34] Not in the middle of, like...
[00:05:35] An empty field
[00:05:36] With a lot of shambling corpses
[00:05:38] Wandering towards us?
[00:05:40] Like I said
[00:05:40] Should we come to your truck
[00:05:41] Are you coming to ours?
[00:05:43] Or are we fleeing?
[00:05:43] Just answer the question
[00:05:44] Yeah, I think we gotta decide
[00:05:45] We gotta go to one of our trucks
[00:05:47] Yes, let's decide
[00:05:47] Should we...
[00:05:48] Rocks, paper, scissors?
[00:05:49] Well, I do have a place just over yonder
[00:05:52] Where y'all can follow me to
[00:05:55] It's safe
[00:05:56] And, uh...
[00:05:57] Great
[00:05:57] Yeah, alright
[00:05:59] Normally I have to give more of a spiel
[00:06:01] To get people to come with me
[00:06:03] We're coming
[00:06:03] Ah, no, I'm ready to go
[00:06:05] Well...
[00:06:05] We're ready
[00:06:06] Unfortunately, we are gonna have to walk
[00:06:08] Cause trucks attract the unsavory type
[00:06:12] Oh, okay
[00:06:14] I know I drove my truck over here
[00:06:16] But, uh, the devoted
[00:06:17] They protect my truck
[00:06:19] From the unsavory
[00:06:21] They're out there
[00:06:22] Let's not interrogate this, uh...
[00:06:25] This logic too much
[00:06:26] Let's just walk away
[00:06:27] Oh, yep, uh...
[00:06:27] Let's just follow him, I guess
[00:06:34] You know, when he said unsavory type trucks
[00:06:36] I thought maybe he meant country music fans
[00:06:38] Ooh, maybe he does, I, uh...
[00:06:41] But I...
[00:06:41] No, I think he means the dead
[00:06:44] And I... something tells me this guy maybe likes country music
[00:06:48] I don't know, I just... I'm getting those kind of vibes
[00:06:50] I don't know that you wanna judge
[00:06:51] Hey, do any of you folks like country music?
[00:06:54] Ah, see...
[00:06:54] It's my favorite!
[00:06:55] Oh, excellent!
[00:06:56] Oh, yeah, I, uh...
[00:06:58] I, uh... I love it
[00:06:59] Well, there ain't too much country music out here no more
[00:07:03] Unfortunately
[00:07:04] Well, you know, I didn't think of New York City as a real country music hub
[00:07:08] Yeah, I, uh...
[00:07:09] I wasn't really thinking about the state of the, uh...
[00:07:12] The music industry at this time
[00:07:14] But I would think it would probably have been affected by the end of the world
[00:07:17] Oh, well, a few things have been affected by the end of the world
[00:07:20] Can we just...
[00:07:21] I just... can we just take a break?
[00:07:23] I have to retime my shoe
[00:07:24] This is a long walk
[00:07:25] We haven't done much walking recently
[00:07:27] Wait a minute
[00:07:28] No, she's sneaking another cigarette
[00:07:30] Stop it!
[00:07:30] Elizabeth, give me that!
[00:07:31] Sorry!
[00:07:31] Give me your shoe, Elizabeth!
[00:07:33] This... you...
[00:07:35] Entire shoe is full of cigarettes!
[00:07:38] Elizabeth!
[00:07:39] I just... I just... I...
[00:07:40] I really need them, okay?
[00:07:42] You... you... you're smoking food cigarettes?
[00:07:45] This is low, Elizabeth
[00:07:48] That's gotta be... that's gotta be unsanitary
[00:07:51] Look, there's so many things you're gonna learn about me over time, guys
[00:07:54] I have a problem
[00:07:55] I have a problem
[00:07:56] Oh, well, okay
[00:07:57] I'm not gonna check your other shoe
[00:07:59] I'm just gonna have faith that there's nothing in that one
[00:08:02] Just gum
[00:08:03] Okay
[00:08:03] Hey, is that... is where... that building over there?
[00:08:06] Is that where we're headed, sir?
[00:08:08] Yes, and it's a good time and we made it
[00:08:11] Cause it looks like it's about to start raining
[00:08:14] And you do not wanna be out here in the rain
[00:08:17] Cause your clothes will get wet
[00:08:21] Oh, well... that's true
[00:08:22] I thought... I kinda thought he was going somewhere else with that
[00:08:25] Yeah, me too
[00:08:26] But...
[00:08:26] It was interesting... you know, let's just go... let's go inside
[00:08:28] True, the rain does get you wet
[00:08:31] That is... how water works
[00:08:33] Welcome, ladies and one gentleman
[00:08:38] To the church on the edge of the crater
[00:08:41] That's it
[00:08:43] Wow...
[00:08:43] Some people refer to it as Crater Edge Church
[00:08:46] But I don't
[00:08:50] Is that like... is that like a first draft?
[00:08:52] Nah...
[00:08:53] Well, we haven't found any paint yet
[00:08:56] So no permanent decisions have been made
[00:08:58] I just think... I just think it could use like a... a couple more passes
[00:09:02] This is... this is amazing
[00:09:04] This is... this church...
[00:09:06] What about living on the edge of glory?
[00:09:10] Adam, I'm trying to have a revelatory moment
[00:09:13] This church is... like... is this the only thing that's like left?
[00:09:18] Yep
[00:09:19] Like... how did this building survive?
[00:09:21] Everything else seems to be gone
[00:09:23] This isn't pristine... it's like clean
[00:09:25] Ooh, how?
[00:09:26] I haven't seen a clean room in... God, weeks
[00:09:30] Well, the Creator saw it in His good graces to leave this one church standing
[00:09:37] And I believe He did it for a reason
[00:09:39] So... can you tell us what happened here?
[00:09:41] Like... we thought this is where New York City was
[00:09:44] But there's just a big hole and then your little church
[00:09:47] Yeah, I didn't think New York, uh... was known for...
[00:09:51] Being a big hole
[00:09:53] Thought there was supposed to be something else
[00:09:55] I thought it was metaphorical
[00:09:56] That it was a big hole
[00:09:58] Yeah...
[00:09:58] Maybe that refers to the subways?
[00:10:03] Uh... did the subways maybe get a little too rambunctious and take over the rest of the city?
[00:10:08] And the whole city just collapsed in on itself
[00:10:10] Too many subways
[00:10:10] Do you... can you... were you here? Do you know what happened, sir? Like where did it...
[00:10:14] Well, to be fair, I'm not entirely sure what happened here
[00:10:19] There was a loud bang
[00:10:21] And then a couple of smaller bangs
[00:10:26] And to be honest... I was...
[00:10:28] Was there any, like, tinier bangs after that? Did it keep going? Kind of like an explosion with Trojka Doll?
[00:10:33] Heh heh heh...
[00:10:35] I like ya
[00:10:36] You got the spark of joy in ya that I haven't seen since...
[00:10:40] I was a little boy playing down by the creek and having a grand old time chasing frogs
[00:10:46] Thought that was a pretty serious question
[00:10:48] And I also feel very sorry for you if that's the most joy you've seen in that many years
[00:10:53] Well... the life of a devoted follower is often filled with uh... disappointments
[00:11:02] But also... the opposite of disappointments
[00:11:07] Look... the one thing I can tell ya is that when things go down into the crater...
[00:11:13] They don't come out the same
[00:11:15] Oh, okay...
[00:11:16] Okay...
[00:11:17] Anyway, before I bring you into, you know, the main part of the church
[00:11:22] I've got a couple questions I need to ask ya
[00:11:26] Okay...
[00:11:26] Ooh, this is sort of like... we have three questions
[00:11:30] Hey guys, hey guys, over here
[00:11:32] Should we have asked him all three questions?
[00:11:35] Oh, I... maybe... do you remember them?
[00:11:37] Oh... no...
[00:11:39] I think uh... I think mine was...
[00:11:41] Will you kill us?
[00:11:43] I think that's a good question
[00:11:45] Yeah, and mine was are you... mine was are you available?
[00:11:47] But I just don't know if I could see myself with a...
[00:11:50] Is he allowed to get married?
[00:11:51] I don't know
[00:11:52] Well, I'll answer all of your questions
[00:11:54] Oh, okay...
[00:11:55] The answer is no
[00:11:56] Oh, he's not respecting our asides
[00:11:59] I'm sorry I didn't realize you were having an aside as you were still standing right next to me
[00:12:05] And you were looking right at me
[00:12:08] Well, we whispered... we were kind of mumbling and whispering
[00:12:10] We said we were gonna learn our lesson about the sidebars
[00:12:13] Yeah, we...
[00:12:13] We didn't
[00:12:14] We didn't
[00:12:15] Do you have a ferris wheel in this building?
[00:12:19] Okay, so like I was saying, I got a couple questions for ya
[00:12:23] He's not even gonna answer
[00:12:25] Jeez, that's pretty rude
[00:12:27] Yeah, what the hell? I feel like this guy doesn't like me
[00:12:29] He's kinda... he's kinda steamrolling us
[00:12:31] Question number one
[00:12:33] Where were you when the crater was created?
[00:12:37] I have no idea
[00:12:39] Don't know when it happened, don't know what it is, don't know where it came from
[00:12:43] Maybe in the fire truck?
[00:12:45] Yeah, probably the fire truck
[00:12:48] Yeah, yeah
[00:12:49] Alright, question number two
[00:12:51] If you were to come up against a difficult task, how would you react to it?
[00:12:59] I'd kill it
[00:13:00] I would dive right in with my best attitude
[00:13:05] I love a hard task
[00:13:06] It helps me forget all the pain and sadness that I would feel any other moment in time
[00:13:12] Give me that
[00:13:13] I saw that
[00:13:15] Trying to get another cigarette in, Elizabeth
[00:13:18] Well, they help me with my pain and sadness when there's no hard tasks
[00:13:22] Inside! No smoking inside
[00:13:24] Oh, right, that rule
[00:13:26] That church knows
[00:13:27] I would probably adopt the problem as my own and carry it around with me internally for the rest of my life
[00:13:35] Uh, I, uh, I would...
[00:13:38] I would do what I do with all problems
[00:13:40] I shoot them with my gun
[00:13:42] And then the problem goes away
[00:13:44] Yeah, you already answered that, you said you'd kill it
[00:13:46] You don't need to...
[00:13:47] I just, I felt like I, everyone else kinda got to expound upon it
[00:13:50] Oh
[00:13:51] And, uh, I didn't know we were giving, like, long answers
[00:13:53] What's your next, what's your next question, sir?
[00:13:55] I just kinda wanna...
[00:13:57] Well, that was the answer I was actually looking for
[00:13:59] And it certainly sounds like you might have some weapons on ya
[00:14:03] Uh-uh
[00:14:04] This is a house of worship
[00:14:06] So what I'm gonna ask you to do is right behind ya
[00:14:10] There's a bunch of lockers
[00:14:11] Uh-huh
[00:14:12] Now when you leave, you're free to take your weapons with ya
[00:14:15] But while you're here, I just ask that you keep them locked away safely
[00:14:21] So, each of you can choose a locker and put all of your weapons in there
[00:14:26] Okay, um, I actually don't have any on me right now, so...
[00:14:31] I don't think there's enough room
[00:14:33] You can share mine
[00:14:34] I think you're gonna need a couple more lockers
[00:14:35] Yeah, you can share
[00:14:36] Adam, Adam, you can...
[00:14:37] You and your...
[00:14:38] You and your nine guns can...
[00:14:39] I want...
[00:14:41] You have to be nice to my guns
[00:14:43] Okay, can somebody help me take my hook off?
[00:14:47] Margaret, I don't...
[00:14:47] Can Margaret keep her hook hand?
[00:14:49] It's just really hard to get it on and off
[00:14:51] Uh, well, uh, I guess if it's technically a prosthetic limb
[00:14:55] I don't wanna go up against any ADA regulations
[00:14:59] So, uh...
[00:15:00] Sure, you can bring your support hook in
[00:15:03] Thank you
[00:15:03] Uh, great, uh, thank you
[00:15:06] Alright, I got this one
[00:15:09] And I got this one
[00:15:10] And I got this one
[00:15:12] And I got this one
[00:15:13] And I got this one
[00:15:13] And I got this one
[00:15:14] And I got...
[00:15:17] Ooh, Angry Adam
[00:15:18] That's a new one, what's its name?
[00:15:20] Yeah, I, uh, I...
[00:15:21] I don't tell you about like every gun that I pick up
[00:15:23] That would get kinda repetitive
[00:15:25] What? But...
[00:15:26] You share everything, I thought
[00:15:27] We'd be happy to hear about your interests, Adam
[00:15:30] I mean, you guys...
[00:15:31] You guys seem to be content
[00:15:33] With like, having...
[00:15:34] Like, the pistol and the rifle
[00:15:36] I didn't think...
[00:15:38] You wanted more
[00:15:39] Um...
[00:15:39] I don't want more guns
[00:15:42] I just wanna know what's going on in your life
[00:15:45] It's guns
[00:15:47] It's usually guns
[00:15:48] Guns all the way down, got it
[00:15:50] Yeah
[00:15:51] Okay
[00:15:51] Okay
[00:15:51] I think we're unarmed now
[00:15:54] Yeah
[00:15:55] Okay, well, uh...
[00:15:57] Before I let you into...
[00:15:59] The main part of the church
[00:16:01] We all know what the name of that is
[00:16:03] Yeah, yeah, we all know
[00:16:04] We're not gonna say it, but we all know
[00:16:06] Yeah, we don't...
[00:16:07] I think it's the sanctuary?
[00:16:09] Ah, t...
[00:16:10] Elizabeth, stop!
[00:16:11] Yeah, we said we weren't gonna say it
[00:16:12] We said we weren't gonna
[00:16:13] Sorry
[00:16:13] Just be forewarned that the congregation is in there right now
[00:16:19] And you may see some things that will disturb you
[00:16:23] There are a lot of devoted folk here who have ailments
[00:16:28] They have issues that they're trying to solve through the Creator
[00:16:34] Uh...
[00:16:35] And, uh, just so we get this straight, we're gonna, uh, deal with these people without our guns?
[00:16:41] Exactly
[00:16:41] I don't, I don't like this
[00:16:43] Alright, come on in as I open these giant doors
[00:16:48] Okay
[00:16:48] Oh, um...
[00:16:51] That's super gross
[00:16:53] Welcome to the apocalypse, we'll be back after these messages
[00:17:00] You know, I've been thinking about lighting up again, it really helps me relax
[00:17:05] Seriously, Alex? You know those cigarettes are bad for you, right?
[00:17:09] Yeah, it's not just about health risks
[00:17:11] Have you seen the money you're spending on them?
[00:17:14] It's just a little stress relief
[00:17:15] But at what cost?
[00:17:17] Cigarettes can lead to serious health issues like lung cancer and heart disease
[00:17:21] You don't wanna put yourself in that position
[00:17:23] And let's not forget about the impact on your loved one
[00:17:27] Secondhand smoke is dangerous too
[00:17:30] Hmm...
[00:17:30] I never really thought about it like that
[00:17:32] There are healthier ways to relieve stress
[00:17:34] How about we go for a walk?
[00:17:36] Or try some deep breathing exercises?
[00:17:39] Exactly!
[00:17:39] Let's find something that lifts you up instead of dragging you down
[00:17:42] You're right
[00:17:43] I wanna breathe free and stay healthy
[00:17:46] Hello
[00:17:48] I am Elizabeth, a medical leader and nurse
[00:17:51] And I wanna tell you I had a real cigarette problem for a long time
[00:17:54] But not anymore
[00:17:55] I'm giving them up
[00:17:57] And you should too
[00:17:58] Let's cut out smoking together
[00:18:00] Let's start right now
[00:18:01] Or maybe in like a couple hours
[00:18:03] Or maybe... maybe tomorrow?
[00:18:06] Like definitely next week
[00:18:07] Like probably by the time I turn 35
[00:18:11] Don't do cigarettes, it's not cool
[00:18:15] Buy edibles like an adult
[00:18:18] Edible nicotine?
[00:18:24] And we're back with Welcome to the Apocalypse
[00:18:27] Alright, come on in as I open these giant doors
[00:18:32] Okay
[00:18:34] So...
[00:18:37] There are a lot of zombies
[00:18:40] Yeah
[00:18:41] They look like they're tied to the neuse
[00:18:44] That's super gross
[00:18:46] Um...
[00:18:47] Excuse me sir
[00:18:48] Yes?
[00:18:49] Are these... are these the devoted?
[00:18:52] These are the devoted
[00:18:54] Oh, that makes sense now
[00:18:57] I kinda... I was like maybe it's something else
[00:19:00] But a room full of zombies, but...
[00:19:02] Yeah, does anyone want one of my cigarettes now?
[00:19:05] Yeah, I kinda want
[00:19:06] Okay, let's uh...
[00:19:07] Oh, you two!
[00:19:09] We're inside and we're at a church
[00:19:10] Give me those damn cigarettes
[00:19:12] And... show some respect
[00:19:15] Margaret! It's full of zombies!
[00:19:18] They're... what's...
[00:19:20] Oh no, he's going to... he's going to the front
[00:19:22] He's going to the front
[00:19:23] The... what's that called? The pulpit?
[00:19:26] The pulpit
[00:19:26] He's going to the pulpit
[00:19:27] Yeah
[00:19:28] Oh, he's putting on the robes
[00:19:29] Oh, God
[00:19:30] Oh, here we go
[00:19:32] Please, have a seat
[00:19:33] Where? If there's no seat
[00:19:35] There's a few seats right up here up front
[00:19:37] I'm gonna... I'm gonna stand
[00:19:38] Uh, if that's okay
[00:19:40] Margaret, uh, yeah, we're just gonna hang back
[00:19:42] If that's alright with you, um...
[00:19:44] I'm a little tired
[00:19:45] Margaret... Okay, Margaret and I will sit at the front
[00:19:47] Okay, Margaret, come on
[00:19:49] Excuse us, excuse us, am I really saying excuse me to the zombies?
[00:19:52] Excuse me, excuse us, excuse us
[00:19:55] Excuse me, excuse us
[00:19:56] Oh, just sit down
[00:19:57] Okay
[00:19:57] Wait... it looks like there's a couple of actual people in here too
[00:20:01] Hello!
[00:20:03] Hey, how's it going?
[00:20:05] Hi!
[00:20:05] Oh my God, there's like four of them
[00:20:07] They're just sort of scattered throughout
[00:20:09] Are you... are you new to the church?
[00:20:11] Uh, yes we are, I think... I think the... the minister, pastor, priest, religious leader, uh, father is going to start talking
[00:20:19] Hopefully he tells us his... his name soon, his, you know, title
[00:20:22] Yeah, I'd like to know that someday
[00:20:24] You don't know his name? How long have you been here?
[00:20:28] I don't know anything
[00:20:28] I kinda just... I've been just kinda going with the... the motion of the ocean
[00:20:33] Okay, so... as it were
[00:20:34] So this is... so... is... is he fully insane or... or...
[00:20:38] Insane? I'm just at church
[00:20:41] Oh, okay, I feel like this man might also be fully insane
[00:20:45] Let's turn back around
[00:20:46] Okay
[00:20:48] Smile, smile
[00:20:49] What a fortuitous day it is... to have a few more in the congregation
[00:20:55] Mm-hmm
[00:20:56] Welcome ladies and gentlemen
[00:21:00] Uh, do we... do we... is it like call and response?
[00:21:03] No, shh, shh, shh, no I don't think that's this kind of church
[00:21:04] Hello!
[00:21:04] No, Adam
[00:21:05] Hello there!
[00:21:06] Oh, it is
[00:21:07] I'm glad you understood the call and response of this
[00:21:10] Ah, I knew it
[00:21:11] Oh, jeez
[00:21:12] Um, hello?
[00:21:13] Alright, quiet down now
[00:21:15] We got... got a lot to get into here
[00:21:18] Brothers and sisters, today we gather not just as a congregation
[00:21:22] But as the devoted
[00:21:24] The faithful who strive to walk in the light of our Creator
[00:21:29] However, we must confront a stark reality that dwells beneath us
[00:21:34] Hidden yet powerful
[00:21:36] It's probably the hole
[00:21:37] Don't give away this ending, Adam
[00:21:39] Be respectful
[00:21:40] Yeah, who knows what he could say
[00:21:43] Did... did you hear that?
[00:21:47] I thought I heard something
[00:21:48] Nope, nope, okay, I'm gonna keep this
[00:21:50] Beneath us, hidden yet powerful
[00:21:52] The great beast
[00:21:54] The behemoth
[00:21:55] It lies in weight beneath this very church
[00:22:00] A manifestation of our collective sin
[00:22:03] Yearning to rise if we fail to act
[00:22:07] Um, is that a metaphor?
[00:22:10] I think so
[00:22:11] I'm hearing some kind of strange sounds that are maybe hinting at the idea that maybe it's not a metaphor
[00:22:17] The zombies are getting kind of riled up
[00:22:20] I really wish that we'd kept our weapons
[00:22:23] Hey, don't tell anyone but I did keep my crossbow
[00:22:27] Oh, wow
[00:22:28] The crossbow that Squeaks gave you?
[00:22:31] The crossbow that Squeaks gave you?
[00:22:33] The crossbow that Squeaks gave you that I definitely remembered for the next two adventures we had
[00:22:36] Oh, what a good friend
[00:22:37] You was good
[00:22:38] The behemoth is not a myth
[00:22:40] It thrives on our neglect, our indifference to the creator's call for righteousness
[00:22:47] It's fed by our complacency
[00:22:50] By our sins that we harbor in our hearts
[00:22:53] And it grows stronger each day we ignore it
[00:22:56] But devoted
[00:22:57] We do not ignore the behemoth, do we?
[00:23:01] No, sir
[00:23:01] No
[00:23:02] No
[00:23:02] No
[00:23:03] No
[00:23:03] No
[00:23:04] I won't
[00:23:05] Okay
[00:23:06] Oh, he's getting up
[00:23:07] That's right
[00:23:09] Yeah
[00:23:09] When I first saw the behemoth of old
[00:23:13] I thought there's no way the Lord's going to just send something like this without a reason
[00:23:20] Guys, have you noticed?
[00:23:22] Have you noticed that he keeps seeing creator instead of God?
[00:23:26] It's a very non-denominational kind of
[00:23:28] No, I just mean there's a creator creator
[00:23:31] I feel like maybe he worships the creator
[00:23:35] The creator who's nothing like Darth Vader
[00:23:39] I was throwing a little pop culture into my sermons
[00:23:44] Oh, I hate those things
[00:23:46] Oh, that's funny and relatable
[00:23:47] No, not no, it's dumb
[00:23:49] Uh-oh
[00:23:52] Ladies and gentlemen, as you heard the bells are tolling
[00:23:59] Which means the devoted are headed here
[00:24:02] Who's on the bells?
[00:24:04] The devoted are what? Adam, I couldn't hear what he said
[00:24:07] He said the devoted are what?
[00:24:08] I don't know, it sounded very important
[00:24:10] I know
[00:24:11] I think he said they're an alligator
[00:24:13] I was really, really curious about the bells
[00:24:15] Like who's ringing them
[00:24:16] Okay, Adam
[00:24:17] I mean, most bells in churches nowadays are electronic
[00:24:20] Excuse me
[00:24:22] Sir, Father, Priest, Minster
[00:24:24] And killed them all, most likely
[00:24:26] What?
[00:24:27] Why the- we were talking through all of that
[00:24:29] We missed something so important
[00:24:31] Was any of that about us?
[00:24:33] I'm sorry, I'm just- this is kind of stuffy in here
[00:24:35] I get uncomfortable
[00:24:36] Their limbs ripped from their bodies
[00:24:38] What?
[00:24:39] Okay, angry Adam?
[00:24:40] Yeah
[00:24:41] Shh!
[00:24:42] Whose limbs?
[00:24:43] Whose limbs?
[00:24:44] I don't- I don't- okay we need to- oh no
[00:24:46] He's opening the floor
[00:24:47] Oh no
[00:24:48] Trap door
[00:24:49] That's right, ladies and gentlemen
[00:24:51] As is written in the scripture
[00:24:52] Without the shedding of blood
[00:24:54] There is no remission of sin
[00:24:56] Uh-huh
[00:24:57] We the devoted must be willing to make a profound offering
[00:25:01] Not just in words, but in action and commitment
[00:25:06] What will you lay upon the altar to keep the beast at bay?
[00:25:10] I have to say, I mean it's terrifying, but this man's oratory skills are great
[00:25:15] He's a great speech
[00:25:17] I know
[00:25:17] What a good writer
[00:25:18] Hey, the- the guy next to us, he just got up
[00:25:22] I gotta sacrifice, I guess I'm jumping in the hole
[00:25:25] Alright, goodbye everybody
[00:25:26] What?
[00:25:28] What?
[00:25:28] Thank you brother
[00:25:31] The behemoth, he grows stronger each day
[00:25:34] Oh, that was a loud- no
[00:25:36] That was a loud crunch, I don't like that
[00:25:38] What's in there?
[00:25:39] Oh, look, look at the windows
[00:25:42] There's so many zombies being attracted by the bells, we're surrounded
[00:25:46] Oh my goodness
[00:25:47] Oh shit
[00:25:47] Do you have anything on you?
[00:25:49] Okay, Margaret, you've got your hook hand
[00:25:50] Adam, you have the crossbow
[00:25:52] It's a good thing
[00:25:53] I have this turkey baster
[00:25:54] I snuck it in my shoe, um, along with my cigarettes
[00:25:59] I just- I just thought maybe it'd be good for stabbing
[00:26:01] It's a gold of glass ones
[00:26:02] Oh
[00:26:03] Wait, I have an idea
[00:26:04] What?
[00:26:05] Oh, okay
[00:26:05] There's a can of fuel
[00:26:07] I think he's using it for the- for the Molotov cocktails
[00:26:10] We can turkey base them onto these arrows
[00:26:13] Oh yes, you have arrows
[00:26:15] We can make some flaming arrows
[00:26:17] Okay, let's just sneak over to the can of fuel
[00:26:19] He's still going on and on, he's going on
[00:26:21] People are diving into the pit
[00:26:24] Brothers and sisters
[00:26:25] I'm going to open the doors to allow more of the devoted to come in to feed the Bahama
[00:26:32] What?
[00:26:34] Oh my- okay, there's a lot of zombies coming in here
[00:26:38] No! Okay, Adam, quick, get your crossbow
[00:26:40] I'm doing it, I'm doing it
[00:26:41] Alright, and then I wrap a little bit of toilet paper
[00:26:44] Hey, Margaret, Margaret, you're gonna need to start hook handing
[00:26:47] Okay, um, I'll- I'll start fighting the zombies
[00:26:50] Okay, I've got my- okay, I'm gonna stab stabby stab with my turkey mason
[00:26:54] Do not kill the devoted
[00:26:55] The creator has given them the power to be strong for you
[00:27:00] Here, Adam
[00:27:01] Oh, then you- then you deal with them, alright?
[00:27:03] I'm trying to deal with them
[00:27:05] I've opened the floor
[00:27:06] What are you doing killing my devoted?
[00:27:09] Oh my god
[00:27:09] Adam, here's some of the gasoline for your-
[00:27:12] Alright, I'm doing it, I'm making the flaming arrows
[00:27:13] Yep, here we go, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
[00:27:15] Okay, okay, I'm still stabbing, stabbing, stabbing
[00:27:20] Devoted ones, today we stand on the brink of transformation
[00:27:24] Choose to be the generation that turns the tide
[00:27:27] Choose to be the devoted who lay down their lives as living sacrifices
[00:27:32] Holy and acceptable to God
[00:27:34] I mean the creator
[00:27:35] Angry Adam, I'm thinking maybe we need to kill him
[00:27:38] But I kinda wanna hear how this ends
[00:27:40] Yeah, can we- let's- alright
[00:27:41] I'm gonna get an arrow just for him
[00:27:43] Okay
[00:27:44] And then I'm gonna see if his speech is done
[00:27:46] And then I'm gonna shoot him
[00:27:46] Is that the end of the sermon, sir?
[00:27:48] We're almost done
[00:27:50] Okay
[00:27:50] Alright, yeah we'll just-
[00:27:51] To be honest, uh, this is why I'm still here too
[00:27:55] This guy's great, I just gotta know how this ends, you know?
[00:27:58] Alright, and-
[00:27:59] Yeah
[00:27:59] This guy's been huddling with us for a while
[00:28:02] Yeah
[00:28:02] Yeah, I just-
[00:28:03] Alright, alright
[00:28:03] I feel like I'm part of the group
[00:28:05] Are you planning on jumping into the pit though?
[00:28:09] Oh, oh yeah, heh heh
[00:28:10] I'll definitely do that
[00:28:12] Oh wow
[00:28:13] I gotta see what it is, what's the behemoth?
[00:28:16] I- I- yeah, I don't know
[00:28:17] It's- it's-
[00:28:18] Yeah, uh, yeah, you go investigate that, buddy
[00:28:20] I'm, uh, I'm gonna- I'm gonna get this, uh, crossbow-
[00:28:23] Okay, I'm gonna- I'm gonna head over there
[00:28:25] Okay
[00:28:26] Alright, uh, have fun
[00:28:27] Whoa
[00:28:28] It's so big and mutated
[00:28:31] What is it?
[00:28:32] I give my life
[00:28:33] Huck
[00:28:35] Ahhhh
[00:28:35] Geez
[00:28:36] Well, that wasn't- that wasn't very helpful
[00:28:38] Let us pray for the courage and strength to offer our very selves
[00:28:42] For in our devotion lies the power to silence the beast
[00:28:45] Amen
[00:28:47] Amen
[00:28:47] Amen, alright, alright, and- and- that's our cue
[00:28:49] And shoot
[00:28:51] Oh
[00:28:51] Why did-
[00:28:52] What the-
[00:28:53] What the-
[00:28:54] What the heck?
[00:28:54] Why did you just shoot me?
[00:28:56] You know what?
[00:28:57] Now that I'm thinking about it, we probably didn't need to do that
[00:28:59] Uh
[00:29:01] Oh, oh, hold on
[00:29:03] Let me get over here
[00:29:04] Sorry, it was- it was my idea, it was my idea
[00:29:06] Oh, God, I'm on fire a little bit now, too
[00:29:09] Yeah
[00:29:09] Oh, yeah
[00:29:10] Just- you know what?
[00:29:11] That was a flaming one
[00:29:12] Make it- make it count
[00:29:13] Just leap into the pit
[00:29:15] Yeah
[00:29:16] You're gonna be okay
[00:29:17] No, I don't think he is Margaret
[00:29:18] If you didn't like the sermon, you could've just left
[00:29:22] We just felt like you were doing something real bad
[00:29:25] Oh
[00:29:25] Can you just jump into the pit and sacrifice yourself and then your life will have meant something, maybe?
[00:29:31] All I was trying to do was feed my mutated guinea pig
[00:29:36] No
[00:29:36] Oh
[00:29:37] Some of the- the devoted
[00:29:38] Oh
[00:29:40] Yes
[00:29:41] Over time it'd probably grow so big
[00:29:45] And eventually devour the whole world, but
[00:29:49] That's in the future
[00:29:51] Good job, Angry Adam
[00:29:53] Oh, God
[00:29:55] Without me here, there's nothing to keep it in the hole
[00:29:59] Oh
[00:30:00] Uh-oh, no
[00:30:00] Well, I'm on fire
[00:30:01] We gotta go
[00:30:03] Okay
[00:30:04] Sorry about that
[00:30:06] Wait, wait
[00:30:06] Do- do you need the combinations to your lockers?
[00:30:11] Uh, yes, if you've got them
[00:30:13] Oh, wait, you locked them?
[00:30:15] They're- they're all called lockers, Adam
[00:30:17] They're lockers
[00:30:17] I'm glad I killed this guy
[00:30:18] I'm not quite dead
[00:30:20] Oh, oh my God
[00:30:21] What- what pain I'm in
[00:30:24] What's the combination?
[00:30:26] Yeah, do you gotta get-
[00:30:27] Uh, uh, seven?
[00:30:29] Yeah
[00:30:29] Uh, uh, um
[00:30:32] Hold up, uh, eight?
[00:30:34] Yeah
[00:30:35] Yeah
[00:30:36] Nine
[00:30:37] Yeah
[00:30:38] Oh, alright
[00:30:39] Get it?
[00:30:39] Oh, yeah, I get it, alright
[00:30:40] As the behemoth eats the devoted
[00:30:43] Seven, eight
[00:30:44] Alright, I'm pushing them in the hole
[00:30:45] Whoa, whoa
[00:30:46] Alright, let's go
[00:30:48] Hurry
[00:30:49] Okay, let's run
[00:30:50] Let's run
[00:30:50] Now the zombies are kinda- they've kinda thinned out
[00:30:52] Okay, let's- let's hurry, let's get to the lockers
[00:30:54] I kinda thought maybe the code was gonna be 666
[00:30:56] Wouldn't that have been funny?
[00:30:58] Oh, that would've been- that would've been a lot longer
[00:30:59] Wait, seven, eight, nine's not working
[00:31:01] Oh, son of-
[00:31:02] Try 666
[00:31:03] Nope, try it, try it
[00:31:06] Yup
[00:31:06] Oh my God, it was 666
[00:31:07] Heyyyy!
[00:31:08] Elizabeth, you knew it!
[00:31:09] What-
[00:31:10] Elizabeth, why is your locker full of more cigarettes
[00:31:14] than could've possibly been put in there?
[00:31:18] I just-
[00:31:19] I-I-I-I-I can't help myself?
[00:31:22] Ugh...
[00:31:23] It's a mystery?
[00:31:24] Somebody loves me and is following me and giving me cigarettes?
[00:31:26] I don't know, it could be any of these options
[00:31:28] Hmm...
[00:31:29] Okay, we'll talk about this later
[00:31:30] It looks like some more of those acid zombies are coming after us
[00:31:34] Alright yeah, we got it, we got it
[00:31:35] Okay, let's get to our truck I think and maybe get out of here
[00:31:37] I don't know that New York is-
[00:31:39] Looks like the city ain't what it used to be
[00:31:41] It's still raining
[00:31:42] Angry Adam, could you hold your jacket above me?
[00:31:45] I don't wanna get my hair wet
[00:31:46] Yeah, you can have one of my leather jackets
[00:31:49] No, could you hold it above me?
[00:31:51] My arms will start hurting
[00:31:53] You're so strong though
[00:31:54] Oh, okay
[00:31:55] Okay, run it, run it, run it, run it, run it
[00:31:58] Okay, do you think we're being chased by that guinea pig?
[00:32:00] I don't-oh my goodness
[00:32:01] Oh shit
[00:32:02] Yes we are!
[00:32:03] Okay, run faster!
[00:32:05] Run!
[00:32:11] Wait, okay, okay
[00:32:13] It's...
[00:32:13] Elizabeth?
[00:32:15] Yeah
[00:32:15] It's right behind you
[00:32:17] Uh huh
[00:32:18] Turn around slowly
[00:32:19] Uh huh
[00:32:21] Wait, you dropped some cigarettes
[00:32:23] It's going for the cigarettes
[00:32:24] Oh!
[00:32:25] Okay, I guess I'll drop my cigarettes
[00:32:26] Okay
[00:32:27] Okay
[00:32:28] Yes, just-
[00:32:28] Okay here, take my cigarettes, take them all
[00:32:30] Keep rolling them
[00:32:31] It's eating them
[00:32:31] I knew that we- I knew that we- I was smoking again for a reason
[00:32:34] It's a giant guinea pig
[00:32:37] It-oh it's smoking the cigarettes too
[00:32:40] Um
[00:32:40] Oh no, it's developing an unhealthy habit
[00:32:44] Oh
[00:32:45] Hey guinea pig
[00:32:47] Come on man
[00:32:48] Don- don't do cigarettes
[00:32:51] Oh no, it is
[00:33:01] Oh, guinea pigs can't smoke cigarettes
[00:33:03] Oh no!
[00:33:07] It has a- it has a little collar on it
[00:33:10] What does it say?
[00:33:12] It says property of father- I don't quite see his name
[00:33:17] It's a little smudge
[00:33:18] But- look
[00:33:20] Right here on the other side of the collar
[00:33:22] Angry Adam it says- that guy was a bad guy
[00:33:26] So-
[00:33:27] So we're like- we're in the right
[00:33:28] Yeah
[00:33:29] You don't have to feel- Oh, alright
[00:33:30] Does it say that?
[00:33:31] Um- I'm-
[00:33:47] Crater
[00:33:48] Let's head further west, shall we?
[00:33:50] And see what we discover?
[00:33:51] Yeah
[00:33:51] I'm sure it'll be better
[00:33:52] It can't be worse than this, right?
[00:33:54] It can't be worse than this
[00:33:55] It can't be worse than this
[00:33:56] Right?
[00:34:03] I'm Jenny
[00:34:04] And I'm Randy
[00:34:05] And I'm Rob
[00:34:06] And thank you for listening to Welcome to the Apocalypse
[00:34:09] Podcasts
[00:34:09] Thank you to listener Danielle Juiced for the episode line submission
[00:34:13] Good thing I have this turkey baster
[00:34:15] Yep, you worked that in well
[00:34:17] Thank you
[00:34:18] We'll reveal next week's winning line and who asked to read it at the end of this episode
[00:34:23] To submit your own line suggestion, look for submission posts on our Instagram page at Welcome to the Apocalypse Pod or the Podcastica Facebook page
[00:34:33] If you'd like to send us any of your other thoughts and questions, you can find all our contact information at Podcastica.com
[00:34:39] And seriously, I would really love one, so please do
[00:34:42] Yeah, if you send us an email, we'll read it on here
[00:34:45] While you're there, be sure to check out our other Podcastica shows like Marvel TV Cast
[00:34:51] They're currently covering Agatha all along
[00:34:53] So if you've been watching that, you need to check it out because their coverage has been awesome
[00:34:58] Alright, that is our show
[00:35:00] Until next time
[00:35:01] Welcome to the Apocalypse
[00:35:08] Next time on Welcome to the Apocalypse
[00:35:11] When life hands you lemons, just say, fuck it and bail
[00:35:17] And bail
[00:35:18] You're welcome
[00:35:18] You're welcome
[00:35:18] You're welcome