9. Johnathan and the Ferris Wheel

[00:00:00] nnngghhhhh

[00:00:03] oooohhh

[00:00:04] F**k it's good boyyyyyy

[00:00:06] previously,

[00:00:07] Unwelcome to the apocalypse

[00:00:09] Hey everybody welcome to our settlement

[00:00:11] So I'm Jason

[00:00:12] And I'm Matilda

[00:00:13] What?

[00:00:14] There's a settlement here?

[00:00:15] We do have 3 questions that we ask people before they get in

[00:00:18] Do you listen to podcasts?

[00:00:20] How many podcasts?

[00:00:21] Well, ummm

[00:00:22] And why?

[00:00:23] Well I thought I kinda answered

[00:00:24] Matilda can we talk over on the side here?

[00:00:26] Oh they're doing sidebars too we love doing those

[00:00:28] Alright yeah let em in

[00:00:29] Yeah, let him in.

[00:00:30] Come on in guys.

[00:00:31] How many people live here?

[00:00:33] We had around I would say 60

[00:00:35] and now we're down to five but-

[00:00:37] What?

[00:00:37] We have lost some people.

[00:00:40] Shouldn't really bring it up around a little bit.

[00:00:42] We lost our friend Squeaks just a few days ago.

[00:00:45] This is a very important character in our journey.

[00:00:47] There was a group of rough men that came,

[00:00:51] they barged in, they demanded all of our playboys

[00:00:54] then they got the idea

[00:00:55] that since they were already taking things

[00:00:57] maybe they would take other things.

[00:00:59] That sounds kind of familiar.

[00:01:00] Oh my God!

[00:01:01] Oh no, oh no!

[00:01:03] Jason!

[00:01:03] My God I have to go out and save him!

[00:01:08] Please, I think we need to put them out of their misery.

[00:01:11] But isn't this what they always wanted

[00:01:12] to podcast forever?

[00:01:14] Fair.

[00:01:15] All right should we hit the road again?

[00:01:18] I know there's like an old game park

[00:01:20] coming up somewhere along the highway

[00:01:21] that I used to go to as a kid.

[00:01:23] I agree, let's go somewhere fun.

[00:01:25] Time for a vacation.

[00:01:37] Yeah, hey there.

[00:01:39] Get this over here!

[00:01:44] It's one of those games where you shoot balloons.

[00:01:48] Oh, balloons?

[00:01:50] I think balloons can stand up to me.

[00:01:52] These balloons don't know when to hit them.

[00:01:54] What?

[00:01:56] Oh man, I love the midway.

[00:01:58] It's always the most interesting part of a,

[00:02:00] you know, the people watching.

[00:02:02] I mean, granted there's no people today.

[00:02:06] Yeah, there's not a lot of,

[00:02:07] we're not getting a lot of people watch.

[00:02:09] I mean, we're getting like a couple zombie watching

[00:02:12] but they seem kinda, they seem kinda occupied.

[00:02:14] Yes, but there, look at how creatively dressed they are.

[00:02:18] Look, that one's a clown, a zombie clown.

[00:02:21] I've never seen one of those.

[00:02:23] I'm going to stab it in the head.

[00:02:28] Wow, he really just kind of took that.

[00:02:30] That's, I guess he's a consummate profession.

[00:02:33] I'll give him that.

[00:02:34] Oh, look, I think that's a person.

[00:02:36] Oh, no, that's just a dead carnie.

[00:02:39] I will admit it was hard for me to tell the difference

[00:02:41] between a live carnie and a dead one.

[00:02:44] He's leaning right up against that controller there.

[00:02:48] It does look like he has the Ferris wheel running too somehow.

[00:02:51] Have you guys, I mean, we're here.

[00:02:54] Do you guys wanna go on a Ferris wheel?

[00:02:57] Yeah, I mean, we've shot all the balloons

[00:03:00] and I just took all these stuffed animals

[00:03:02] from that penny game.

[00:03:05] So I didn't even really, it wasn't really a challenge.

[00:03:07] I just went behind the counter.

[00:03:08] Excuse me, excuse me.

[00:03:10] Oh.

[00:03:11] Excuse me.

[00:03:12] Hey, what's up?

[00:03:14] Hey, couldn't noticing you've got a few stuffed animals there.

[00:03:19] Oh yeah, I didn't win them fair and square.

[00:03:22] Did you just find them?

[00:03:23] Well, I went behind the counter

[00:03:24] and I just took them down from that game over there.

[00:03:28] I didn't win them.

[00:03:29] Sorry, do you work here?

[00:03:32] Is this still a thing?

[00:03:34] No, I just hang out here.

[00:03:36] Okay.

[00:03:37] Okay, well this seems like...

[00:03:39] Elizabeth, maybe put those back.

[00:03:42] No, you can have them.

[00:03:43] It's not a big deal.

[00:03:44] Oh.

[00:03:45] It seems kind of like...

[00:03:46] I literally, I just hang out here.

[00:03:48] It just seems like maybe it actually is a big deal.

[00:03:50] It might be fibbing a little bit.

[00:03:54] Okay, you know what, sir?

[00:03:56] I'm gonna put them back

[00:03:57] and then maybe we can get to know you a little bit.

[00:04:00] Like, we didn't know there were any people.

[00:04:01] We just sort of came here,

[00:04:02] we're on a road trip and we stopped by this.

[00:04:05] Oh, road trip.

[00:04:06] Well, that sounds really exciting.

[00:04:12] This guy seems like a real asshole.

[00:04:29] Well, angry Adam, why don't you ask him?

[00:04:35] Oh, yeah, I've got tons of tickets.

[00:04:38] Uh...

[00:04:39] How many tickets do you want?

[00:04:41] Uh, what's four times three?

[00:04:44] It's been a while.

[00:04:45] I'm not so good with numbers and stuff.

[00:04:48] I'm not so good with numbers.

[00:04:49] That's a surprise.

[00:04:51] Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's all this, buddy?

[00:04:54] Okay, angry Adam, calm down.

[00:04:55] Calm down.

[00:04:56] Calm down.

[00:04:57] You're gunned back.

[00:04:58] Let me, let me, Adam.

[00:04:59] Let me, Adam.

[00:05:00] I don't understand.

[00:05:01] What is the big deal?

[00:05:02] I was surprised that you're not good with numbers.

[00:05:04] What is the issue here?

[00:05:05] This man is confusing me.

[00:05:07] Actually, angry Adam, I am also a little surprised

[00:05:10] that you're not that good with numbers.

[00:05:12] Weren't you an accountant?

[00:05:14] Regular Adam was very good with numbers.

[00:05:17] Right, right.

[00:05:18] Angry Adam thinks math pretty lame.

[00:05:21] No, you can't shoot a number.

[00:05:23] Okay, I'm back.

[00:05:24] I feel like there was some conflict while I was away.

[00:05:26] Um, it's 12.

[00:05:27] The answer you're looking for is 12.

[00:05:29] We need 12 tickets and I've got a lot of tickets.

[00:05:32] And I've got four stuffed animals so we can each have one.

[00:05:35] Who wants the duck?

[00:05:36] Oh, I'll take the duck.

[00:05:37] Hold on, hold on.

[00:05:38] Wait a second.

[00:05:39] What, what the hell are we doing?

[00:05:42] It's the apocalypse.

[00:05:43] I don't know!

[00:05:44] What?

[00:05:45] Sir, do we really need tickets to be here?

[00:05:48] Why would you need tickets to be here?

[00:05:50] I just got pockets full of tickets.

[00:05:52] I found them on the midway.

[00:05:53] I'm just, I feel like I'm getting mixed signals from you.

[00:05:57] I would just feel better if I could use tickets to get on.

[00:06:00] Sir, what's your name?

[00:06:02] How about we start there?

[00:06:03] What's your name?

[00:06:04] My name is Jonathan.

[00:06:05] Okay, Jonathan, and you just hang out here.

[00:06:08] Were you here when the world ended or are you just came here recently?

[00:06:12] No, I've been here for days.

[00:06:15] Okay.

[00:06:16] Um, well, we're just gonna go ride this ride.

[00:06:20] Yeah, that sounds really fun.

[00:06:22] Okay, how about you give us 12 tickets and then we can give you 12 tickets so Adam feels comfortable.

[00:06:30] Yeah, here you go.

[00:06:31] Here's 12 tickets.

[00:06:32] This pleases me.

[00:06:33] Here you go.

[00:06:34] Thank you.

[00:06:35] And now I'm gonna give you back the 12 tickets.

[00:06:37] All right.

[00:06:38] Or should we give them to the dead Carney who's leaning against the pocket?

[00:06:42] Yeah, I'm gonna stuff him in his pocket.

[00:06:44] There you go, pal.

[00:06:45] And I said, ooh, I just, ooh, I kinda knocked his head off.

[00:06:48] Oh, okay.

[00:06:49] Well, as long as his body is still leaning.

[00:06:51] Yeah, he's still manning the booth.

[00:06:53] He could still do his job.

[00:06:55] Honestly, he's not gonna miss it.

[00:06:56] Okay, we're just gonna, we're just gonna go up on this ride now.

[00:06:59] And we'll talk to you later.

[00:07:03] Jonathan, we'll talk to you when we get down.

[00:07:05] Have a wonderful time.

[00:07:07] Talked to you in approximately four minutes, I think.

[00:07:11] I don't know.

[00:07:12] Okay, okay.

[00:07:13] Hey.

[00:07:14] Everybody climb on.

[00:07:15] This is great for a sidebar.

[00:07:16] I know, right?

[00:07:17] That's kind of why I did it.

[00:07:18] We kinda need to keep a ferris wheel around us so we can just hop on and talk about

[00:07:21] stuff when people are around.

[00:07:23] This is a great artifice for a sidebar.

[00:07:26] Wait, okay, we're one quarter of the way around.

[00:07:28] We're wasting our time.

[00:07:29] We're wasting our time.

[00:07:30] Oh, God!

[00:07:31] So what the hell, guys?

[00:07:34] I don't know.

[00:07:35] I kinda wanted just a day for ourselves at the Unusum Park.

[00:07:38] I sort of thought we saw it off the road and we drove in here.

[00:07:41] I mean, I wanted to like relive my childhood and go to some of my favorite rides and

[00:07:44] maybe, you know, avoid the haunted house just because I feel like that would be

[00:07:48] trauma upon trauma.

[00:07:50] Maybe real triggering right now.

[00:07:53] But I thought maybe we, you know, have some fun.

[00:07:55] But then this weird jerk shows up and I feel like he's gonna ruin our special day.

[00:07:59] Is it possible that he just, like, doesn't understand the tone of his voice?

[00:08:05] Because it seems like he's saying, like, innocuous stuff but in a way that's very sarcastic.

[00:08:11] I really, when he called me out for not knowing math, but then he was like,

[00:08:15] oh, but that's normal for me to say.

[00:08:17] I really kinda got me first.

[00:08:19] I was a little like, oh, what?

[00:08:21] I don't know what the hell's going on.

[00:08:22] Oh, guys, we're down at the bottom.

[00:08:24] Oh, damn it.

[00:08:25] Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[00:08:27] Yeah, great to see you guys.

[00:08:29] We're not discussing how much of an asshole you are.

[00:08:31] Oh, here we go.

[00:08:33] So he seems harmless and it's the apocalypse.

[00:08:38] I just, I feel kind of bad having a fun day just knowing that guy is just standing over there.

[00:08:45] So you want to invite him on our fun day?

[00:08:47] Well, I don't want to but I feel like we should.

[00:08:53] Maybe he needs some cheer and up.

[00:08:55] Yeah, we're supposed to be looking on the bright side of the apocalypse

[00:08:59] and maybe this is a chance for us to do something good for someone.

[00:09:02] Okay, well I do.

[00:09:04] Okay, just, I want to preface one thing.

[00:09:07] So remember how when we met Jason and Lucy like yesterday?

[00:09:12] I remember meeting Jason and Matilda.

[00:09:16] Right.

[00:09:18] Yeah, sorry.

[00:09:20] She just reminded me so much of someone that I knew that I used to know.

[00:09:24] I'm Lucy.

[00:09:25] So yeah, Jason and Matilda and remember how, I mean they were super weird and terrible

[00:09:30] and to be honest, I'm not mad that they died and I think their podcast was maybe not as good as they thought it was.

[00:09:37] I think their podcast is like, it's better now that they're undead.

[00:09:41] They were covering some interesting ground.

[00:09:43] Yeah, new perspective.

[00:09:44] But I wonder, remember how they asked us questions?

[00:09:48] Maybe we should come up with three questions that we ask new people that we find

[00:09:53] so that we can kind of like suss people out.

[00:09:56] I think we could each ask Jonathan a question and then we can ask those same questions

[00:10:01] every time we meet new people and decide whether or not they belong.

[00:10:05] I got a great question.

[00:10:07] And maybe it would cut down on all these sidebars we have to do.

[00:10:10] That's a great idea.

[00:10:11] We do spend, I don't know, 30% of the day just sidebarring.

[00:10:16] All right, well, we're down at the bottom.

[00:10:18] Quick hop off.

[00:10:20] Okay, Jonathan.

[00:10:21] Oh, it's great to see you guys back again.

[00:10:23] Yeah, look, okay, so we are a trio of friends and we've been traveling around meeting different people.

[00:10:29] Now friends, that's a wonderful thing.

[00:10:31] Wish I had friends.

[00:10:33] Yeah, we were just wondering if we're going to ask you some questions

[00:10:38] just to get to know, yeah, stuff.

[00:10:41] Depending on how you answer these questions, perhaps you can hang out with us

[00:10:47] or perhaps we'll have to kill him, but don't tell him, I said.

[00:10:52] Yeah.

[00:10:53] You just kind of just said that out loud in front of us.

[00:10:57] Yeah, Margaret, I don't think you realize how much your voice carries.

[00:11:00] I definitely heard that you probably should have gone back up on the players' wheel

[00:11:04] if you were going to talk.

[00:11:05] All right, here's my first question.

[00:11:07] On a scale of one to ten, how likely are you to betray us?

[00:11:12] I'm also not very good with numbers.

[00:11:15] Ah, interesting.

[00:11:17] The shoes on the other foot.

[00:11:19] I would probably say about maybe three.

[00:11:24] Wait, is one low or...

[00:11:28] One is you're like my brother.

[00:11:33] Ten is like the second I stop asking my question, you just start blasting.

[00:11:39] Yeah, but I don't know your relationship with your brother.

[00:11:42] It's like more of like a spiritual brother kind of scenario.

[00:11:47] Yeah, so...

[00:11:48] Listen, low number.

[00:11:49] Low number good.

[00:11:50] How about that?

[00:11:51] All right.

[00:11:53] Negative two?

[00:11:57] Oh, he's really trustworthy.

[00:11:59] Oh, clever answer.

[00:12:00] That's really...

[00:12:02] Yeah, no, he's really seems like a real straight shooter to me.

[00:12:05] All right.

[00:12:06] That satisfies my answer.

[00:12:08] You guys have your questions ready?

[00:12:10] Yeah, I do.

[00:12:12] Are you currently...

[00:12:17] Are you straight and are you single?

[00:12:22] And are you looking?

[00:12:23] I mean, I guess it's three questions, but basically I'm just wondering like how open are you to love?

[00:12:28] How about that?

[00:12:29] That's my question.

[00:12:30] Okay, how open are you to love?

[00:12:33] Interesting question Elizabeth.

[00:12:35] Yeah, I don't know what this is about.

[00:12:37] Well, I just, you know, I don't want to shut any doors.

[00:12:40] Honestly, this is like one of the most fascinating questions I've ever heard in my entire life.

[00:12:47] Really?

[00:12:48] I'm honestly, I have no idea how I'm even supposed to answer this at this point.

[00:12:55] Oh, well, that's not a good sign.

[00:12:57] Not hearing a no.

[00:12:59] I barely know you, but I'm not opposed to anything at this point.

[00:13:05] Okay, well that's not...

[00:13:07] It's not really what a girl likes to hear, but I mean it's not a no and okay, I can work with that.

[00:13:13] Thank you, Jonathan.

[00:13:14] Yeah, no problem.

[00:13:15] Okay.

[00:13:16] And final question to determine if you're apocalypse ready.

[00:13:23] The little strawberry candies or were those originals?

[00:13:30] Those are both amazing candies, by the way.

[00:13:34] Oh, okay.

[00:13:36] Yes, that's the correct answer.

[00:13:40] I don't know if he feels a bit like a fence sitter.

[00:13:44] But he answered our riddles three.

[00:13:46] It's true and he said he's so loyal that he's even in the negative.

[00:13:49] That's crazy, that's more loyal than the honesty.

[00:13:52] Yeah, honestly, I'd rank myself as like a five.

[00:13:56] Five?

[00:13:57] Well, that's gonna say like four.

[00:13:59] Good to know.

[00:14:00] I'm gonna have to talk to you guys about this later.

[00:14:02] Yes, we're side barring again.

[00:14:05] Let's have an adventure in this amusement park with our new companion, Jonathan.

[00:14:10] Jonathan, you're going to hang out with us today.

[00:14:13] Oh, this is exciting.

[00:14:15] Welcome to the apocalypse.

[00:14:17] We'll be back after these messages.

[00:14:23] And we're back with welcome to the apocalypse.

[00:14:26] All right, we're all gonna link arms.

[00:14:28] Okay.

[00:14:29] We're gonna link arms and we're gonna skip.

[00:14:31] Skip?

[00:14:32] Yeah, we're gonna skip.

[00:14:33] Skip down the lane like friends do.

[00:14:36] Sorry, Jonathan.

[00:14:38] You have my hook arm.

[00:14:40] Yep, that's on.

[00:14:41] Oh yeah, maybe we shouldn't have given Jonathan the hook arm.

[00:14:44] That's a little high difficulty for the first time.

[00:14:47] I saw a map at the entrance and I was trying to find my favorite ride from when I was little.

[00:14:51] And it looks like it is this thing called the little elephants.

[00:14:56] The little flying elephants.

[00:14:58] It looks like it's over here on the left and it's a thrilling ride on an adorable elephant.

[00:15:04] And the intensity is mild and they said it's for families and kids.

[00:15:09] We are a family, so I think we qualify.

[00:15:13] Can we please go around the flying elephants and I will try not to think about my deserted mother.

[00:15:19] This does sound fun and intense.

[00:15:22] Sounds like no trauma associated with this one.

[00:15:25] Yeah, Jonathan, did you use to work here?

[00:15:27] Yeah, totally. I absolutely work here. This was like my life.

[00:15:31] Awesome! So you know where the on button is?

[00:15:34] Oh yeah, you don't forget a thing like that.

[00:15:37] Well, I should hope not.

[00:15:38] Okay.

[00:15:39] Yeah, you don't want to forget where the on button is.

[00:15:41] Okay, it's over here behind these trees.

[00:15:43] I even remember where the off button is.

[00:15:45] That's probably good to know.

[00:15:47] Also maybe sinister.

[00:15:49] Oh no, there's a couple of zombies in there.

[00:15:53] Oh, they... imagine though, dying doing what you love.

[00:15:56] They're lucky people.

[00:15:58] Alright, I'll just stab them quick and then we can get off.

[00:16:00] Just quick, quick kills.

[00:16:03] Well done.

[00:16:04] Alright, let's get into the car that doesn't have the dead bodies in it.

[00:16:08] Yeah.

[00:16:10] Jonathan, would you be able to hit the on button and then hop into this one with me?

[00:16:15] Yeah, I think I'm capable of doing that.

[00:16:17] Sure.

[00:16:18] Okay, hold on. Let me hit this on button here.

[00:16:21] Okay, I've hit the on button.

[00:16:23] Are you happy about that?

[00:16:24] Oh, here we go!

[00:16:25] Very happy! Jonathan, hop in with me.

[00:16:27] Yeah, I'm popping in right now.

[00:16:28] I remember my mother holding my hand and telling me that she loved me and that I was the most special little girl in her life.

[00:16:35] I'm strong, so I'm not disoriented by this spinning motion.

[00:16:41] I'm okay.

[00:16:42] Are you two okay back there?

[00:16:44] I'm tough.

[00:16:45] Yeah, I'm just having really happy memories about my childhood with a mother who loved me and never left me.

[00:16:52] I'm not nauseous.

[00:16:54] I don't get dizzy. I'm too strong.

[00:16:56] Are you having a good time, Jonathan?

[00:16:58] I'm having the best time of my entire life.

[00:17:00] You have no idea how incredible this is.

[00:17:03] Oh, I have to be a little honest.

[00:17:06] I'm terrified.

[00:17:08] This is where what, seven feet off of the ground?

[00:17:12] Who? I'm just gonna hold on to you a little bit.

[00:17:18] Yeah, that's fine. I don't mind that at all.

[00:17:21] I can't help but notice you don't have a ring on that finger there.

[00:17:27] No, I keep it on this other finger over here.

[00:17:30] Oh, is that a wedding ring?

[00:17:33] No, it's a Captain Midnight Dakota ring.

[00:17:35] Oh, who are you?

[00:17:37] You are a detective.

[00:17:39] I got it in a box of cereal.

[00:17:40] Oh, you were a child.

[00:17:42] I was a child, yes.

[00:17:44] Is there a princess?

[00:17:46] As most of us were. Most of us were children at some point in our lives.

[00:17:49] I was never a child.

[00:17:51] That's a fascinating story and I would love to hear all about that.

[00:17:54] So there's no Mrs. Jonathan?

[00:17:56] I have a mother.

[00:17:59] Okay. Hey, look over there, Jonathan.

[00:18:01] What's over there?

[00:18:03] Elizabeth.

[00:18:04] Yes! Yes! I'm just...

[00:18:06] I think this guy's married. Just saying.

[00:18:10] Oh, thanks. Thanks, Margaret.

[00:18:13] I might need something to distract me after this ride.

[00:18:17] Oh, is it ending? I feel like it's winding down.

[00:18:20] Oh, thank God. I mean, I could have gone for another hour.

[00:18:23] Yeah, I'm going to jump out of this ride now and go hit the off button.

[00:18:27] Thanks, Jonathan.

[00:18:29] Oh man.

[00:18:31] Holy...

[00:18:33] I'm not sure. Maybe we should do something.

[00:18:35] Maybe someone else should pick.

[00:18:37] I feel like maybe that brought up a lot of memories and I was trying really hard

[00:18:40] to only remember the good times with my mother,

[00:18:42] but it's really hard to focus on that when she also walked out to follow Aerosmith.

[00:18:47] Oh, and...

[00:18:49] You know...

[00:18:50] Hey, we could go to the Aerosmith theme drive.

[00:18:53] Oh, Adam! I'm not sure I'm ready to face that.

[00:18:57] Yeah, it's like a rock and roller coaster.

[00:18:59] Yeah, you're definitely going to want to go see the Aerosmith ride.

[00:19:02] Oh!

[00:19:03] Okay, well if we go on the Aerosmith ride, I will be the one to push the on and off button

[00:19:06] because I don't know that I can face it.

[00:19:08] Elizabeth, maybe this is a good chance for you to, you know,

[00:19:12] face some of the things that have been troubling you.

[00:19:15] You think?

[00:19:16] Probably.

[00:19:17] Okay, sure. Let's go to the Aerosmith ride.

[00:19:20] It's sort of weird that it's in the middle of this out-of-the-way theme park

[00:19:24] in the middle of Connecticut, but...

[00:19:26] Is Mr. Smith from Connecticut?

[00:19:29] I have no idea.

[00:19:31] Yeah, I believe Aerosmith, the founder of Aerosmith.

[00:19:37] Yeah, he's a...

[00:19:38] I believe he must be from there.

[00:19:40] I mean, he's got this rock and roller coaster here,

[00:19:43] which is definitely in Connecticut and not in Florida.

[00:19:46] Okay, well, this ride was not here when I was little,

[00:19:49] but so who's going to press the on button

[00:19:52] and who's going to ride the ride?

[00:19:54] Well, Elizabeth, I think you should ride the ride.

[00:19:57] For sure.

[00:19:58] Okay.

[00:19:59] This feels like immersion therapy.

[00:20:00] Okay.

[00:20:01] The last ride terrified the hell out of me,

[00:20:04] so I think I'm going to press the button.

[00:20:07] So this Aerosmith ride, what's it going to do?

[00:20:11] It doesn't look like a coaster.

[00:20:13] Jonathan, how would you describe this?

[00:20:15] It's a huge picture of Aerosmith

[00:20:19] and it's just a car that goes around his face.

[00:20:24] That's it.

[00:20:26] Steven Tyler?

[00:20:27] No, no, it's Aerosmith.

[00:20:28] Is that his name?

[00:20:29] Sure.

[00:20:30] I think he's also known as Steven Tyler.

[00:20:32] Yeah, that sounds possible.

[00:20:33] So I will be...

[00:20:34] Oh, look!

[00:20:35] And then at the end of the ride,

[00:20:36] the car comes out on his long tongue.

[00:20:39] Ooh, that's...

[00:20:40] The conclusion is like a slide.

[00:20:42] Okay, well...

[00:20:43] This looks really wet.

[00:20:44] I don't like this.

[00:20:45] Actually, angry Adam,

[00:20:47] I think I need your help pressing this button

[00:20:50] and it also looks like this ride is only for two.

[00:20:54] So I guess Elizabeth and Jonathan will have to go onto the ride.

[00:20:59] Sure.

[00:21:00] And...

[00:21:01] Well, that works out well.

[00:21:02] Are you going to help me with my immersion therapy?

[00:21:04] I can tell you my story

[00:21:06] and then maybe I'll work through some of my feelings.

[00:21:09] Yeah, I'm really interested.

[00:21:10] And then maybe you'll see that I'm like a sensitive

[00:21:12] and interesting girl who just has like a sort of sad backstory.

[00:21:15] Trauma dumping is really good for a first date.

[00:21:18] I think so.

[00:21:19] I am definitely interested.

[00:21:21] Okay, well you two hop in there.

[00:21:23] Angry Adam, help me get this strap on.

[00:21:27] I mean...

[00:21:29] What do you mean Margaret?

[00:21:30] We're not on the ride.

[00:21:33] Angry Adam, you and I will be riding something different.

[00:21:38] Okay, so anyway, I'm...

[00:21:40] Seat belts, I think we're talking seat belts.

[00:21:42] Okay, so Jonathan, here.

[00:21:44] Can you just sort of switch...

[00:21:45] Shift over to the left quick.

[00:21:47] Yeah.

[00:21:48] Okay, so I'm strapped in.

[00:21:50] Are you good to go Jonathan?

[00:21:52] We're going to start the ride?

[00:21:53] I am very good to go.

[00:21:54] Okay, I think the way this is going to work

[00:21:56] is I'm going to tell you my story

[00:21:57] and maybe if I just say the words

[00:21:59] and get my biggest fears out

[00:22:01] on this terrifying Stephen Tyler tongue ride

[00:22:04] then by the end of it we're all going to be fine.

[00:22:09] Okay?

[00:22:10] That sounds like such a great idea.

[00:22:13] I'm going to pull the big lever.

[00:22:15] That starts it and we're rolling.

[00:22:19] There you go.

[00:22:20] Okay, so the story is

[00:22:22] I had a very lovely normal child

[00:22:24] but I had a father and a mother

[00:22:26] and I was an only child or so it felt

[00:22:30] and so anyway, my mom was really lovely

[00:22:33] but she was unsatisfied.

[00:22:35] She was a homemaker in the 80s

[00:22:37] when a lot of them were going back to work

[00:22:39] and I think she felt really unfilled

[00:22:41] and she really wanted more for her life

[00:22:42] but she didn't really have any kind of education

[00:22:44] and my father worked all day at the bank

[00:22:46] and so we're going around.

[00:22:48] Oh, up, up, up, up, up, up.

[00:22:50] This is the Aerospin Ride.

[00:22:54] This is the Aerospin Ride.

[00:22:58] It's really convenient that they chose

[00:23:00] royalty free music for this Aerospin ride.

[00:23:03] That's kind of cool.

[00:23:04] Get round the Aerospin Ride.

[00:23:06] Okay, go.

[00:23:07] Okay, we're going down.

[00:23:09] I think this is a coaster.

[00:23:11] Okay, so anyway, then my mom,

[00:23:13] she, one day when I was about,

[00:23:15] in when I was like 15,

[00:23:17] my mom just decided that she was going to hit the road

[00:23:20] and follow Aerospin, which was very embarrassing

[00:23:22] because Aerospin at the time was not very cool

[00:23:24] and...

[00:23:25] No, they were pretty petted.

[00:23:26] Yeah, I know, right?

[00:23:27] It was so embarrassing.

[00:23:28] Anyway, so we told all my friends

[00:23:30] that my mom died by falling off a yacht

[00:23:33] and so that problem with that

[00:23:35] was that everyone thought my family...

[00:23:36] That's really smart.

[00:23:37] Yeah, well, maybe not because more maybe

[00:23:39] you were being sarcastic about being smart.

[00:23:41] I honestly can't tell.

[00:23:42] And she...

[00:23:43] Everyone thought that I was showing off

[00:23:45] that we were rich and that we had a yacht

[00:23:46] and so that I kind of lost all my friends

[00:23:48] because they thought that we were loaded

[00:23:50] and I was a snob and they also didn't know

[00:23:52] how to deal with me having a dead mom

[00:23:54] and honestly I probably should have told them

[00:23:56] on the truth but from then I really felt

[00:23:58] isolated and alone and I blame my mother

[00:23:59] for a lot of it and I don't even know

[00:24:01] if she's still alive out there

[00:24:02] and it's really caused me a lot of problems

[00:24:03] with life and I have a lot of abandonment issues.

[00:24:06] Which is why this family of mine

[00:24:07] is now very important to me

[00:24:09] but anyway Jonathan if you'd like to join

[00:24:10] I would be very happy because I love you.

[00:24:16] Wow, that kind of came out of nowhere.

[00:24:18] I know.

[00:24:19] I wasn't expecting that.

[00:24:20] Sorry.

[00:24:21] But I mean, well, I guess the face

[00:24:25] of Aero Smith kind of brings out

[00:24:28] strong emotions and I understand that.

[00:24:31] They're sweet emotions.

[00:24:33] They are sweet aren't they?

[00:24:34] Yes.

[00:24:35] You're gonna miss one thing.

[00:24:37] I don't wanna fall asleep

[00:24:40] cause I miss you baby.

[00:24:42] In a legally distinct way.

[00:24:46] Oh, you know what?

[00:24:47] My mother used to sing that song

[00:24:49] to me at bedtime.

[00:24:52] Oh, angry Adam.

[00:24:53] Look, they're coming out.

[00:24:55] Wow.

[00:24:56] Either they made out a lot

[00:24:59] or Elizabeth was crying the whole time.

[00:25:03] I think they might just be wet from the tongue.

[00:25:07] Yeah, it's mostly the tongue.

[00:25:09] The tongue is just kind of covered in this serum

[00:25:12] but there also was like a lot of tears.

[00:25:15] Alright.

[00:25:16] I do feel cleansed.

[00:25:17] I do feel cleansed and I do feel unburdened.

[00:25:22] I think that it was really helpful

[00:25:24] to tell the whole story to someone

[00:25:26] and Jonathan has not reciprocated my love

[00:25:31] but I want you all to know that I

[00:25:35] I think we might have found our new speaks.

[00:25:38] Oh, oh, Elizabeth you found love

[00:25:44] and all it took was an Aerosmith ride.

[00:25:47] I think that what I've done is rewrite my history

[00:25:50] with Aerosmith

[00:25:51] and now it's a positive memory instead of a negative.

[00:25:54] I mean, I don't know Jonathan that well

[00:25:57] but he looks like he might be smiling a little bit

[00:26:01] compared to when we first met him.

[00:26:03] So yeah, no, I'm definitely smiling.

[00:26:05] I mean, honestly, you basically you taught me how to love again.

[00:26:09] Wow.

[00:26:10] I cannot read this guy at all.

[00:26:13] I will admit it's very difficult

[00:26:15] so I'm just choosing to interpret it the way I it suits me.

[00:26:19] So that makes sense.

[00:26:20] I'm assuming that's positive.

[00:26:22] No, I would definitely take it as literal.

[00:26:25] There's no reason not to.

[00:26:27] I don't know why you wouldn't.

[00:26:28] Well, while the two of you are in there,

[00:26:31] angry Adam and I happen to notice.

[00:26:33] Are you okay angry Adam?

[00:26:35] Oh, no, it's, you know, just it's cold out.

[00:26:39] All right.

[00:26:40] Do you need a lozinger or a cough drop?

[00:26:43] We're close to New York.

[00:26:44] They sell lozenges there.

[00:26:46] I would like a New York style lozings

[00:26:49] but unfortunately I'm going to have to take a Connecticut cough drop.

[00:26:53] Well, as I was saying, angry Adam and I happen to notice that

[00:26:57] just around the corner here is a small horde of zombies.

[00:27:02] Who would have thought?

[00:27:03] Oh, yeah.

[00:27:04] Yeah, I was going to bring that up.

[00:27:06] I wasn't too worried about it, but yeah, they are now bearing down on us quickly.

[00:27:11] So we should probably start shooting.

[00:27:15] But I was thinking because, you know, we've gotten so good at killing.

[00:27:19] Does anyone want to like help me?

[00:27:21] We're talking angry Adam.

[00:27:23] I'll deal with it.

[00:27:24] It's your job, Adam.

[00:27:26] If you get hurt, Elizabeth will help you and if you need emotional support,

[00:27:32] I'll help you and I'm sure Jonathan can do something.

[00:27:36] Yeah, I can definitely do something.

[00:27:38] Take this one over and then I ride it like a skateboard down the stairs

[00:27:41] while I'm shooting other zombies.

[00:27:43] It's like pretty cool stuff, you know.

[00:27:45] What I was going to say is I found this cache of grenades over here.

[00:27:51] I don't know why this amusement park has grenades.

[00:27:54] I was going to say we just throw these over at them,

[00:27:57] but angry Adam just kind of jumped in there.

[00:28:00] Looks like he's had one.

[00:28:01] I would suggest not throwing the grenades while angry Adam is in the middle of the horde.

[00:28:05] Oh, good idea.

[00:28:07] Angry Adam, are you almost finished?

[00:28:10] Give me a second, I got like one more job and I knocked this one's head up

[00:28:15] and it's a hole in one.

[00:28:17] Oh, good job.

[00:28:18] I knocked the head into a garbage can.

[00:28:20] That's what I call it, a hole in one.

[00:28:22] Do you think that at some point Adam's going to need his own immersion therapy?

[00:28:26] Do you think there's something odd about him?

[00:28:29] He seems perfectly fine and well adjusted to me.

[00:28:34] Are you guys talking about how sane and normal I am?

[00:28:37] Because I agree.

[00:28:38] That's exactly what I was saying.

[00:28:40] So where did the grenades come from Jonathan?

[00:28:43] My friends and I, we found them in a building

[00:28:46] and there were some other people there

[00:28:48] and so we took 50% of them.

[00:28:50] 50% of the people?

[00:28:54] Or 50% of the grenades?

[00:28:56] Yeah, we did both.

[00:28:58] I feel like we've heard that percentage recently.

[00:29:01] That's half. 50% is half.

[00:29:04] So you took half, wait a minute.

[00:29:07] Right, Adam didn't people come and take 50% of everything

[00:29:11] from Jason and Matilda's mobile?

[00:29:13] It could be a coincidence.

[00:29:15] 50% is a good amount of stuff to take.

[00:29:17] That's true.

[00:29:19] Jonathan, what were you planning to do with these grenades?

[00:29:24] So I wasn't supposed to really say anything about this

[00:29:30] but since I've learned to like to love and stuff.

[00:29:36] I feel like I can just tell you that

[00:29:41] we've been kind of on the lookout for some people

[00:29:45] and we were gonna try to kill them.

[00:29:52] So I hope that doesn't change anything about our relationship

[00:29:55] or anything like that, the fact that

[00:29:57] I'm secretly planning to kill people.

[00:30:00] We've threatened to kill people a lot actually.

[00:30:03] I mean, it does give me something to consider.

[00:30:06] I mean, if we were gonna have children or whatever

[00:30:08] I might want to investigate this more.

[00:30:11] But I mean, if we're just gonna be like casual,

[00:30:14] yeah, Margaret, I don't know.

[00:30:16] I think you can trust a baby with a grenade.

[00:30:19] I think the both of you need to slow down

[00:30:21] how far into the future you're planning.

[00:30:24] Yeah, especially with this.

[00:30:26] So wait a minute.

[00:30:27] So Jonathan, you have friends?

[00:30:29] Is there a group like are any of them

[00:30:32] possibly cuter than you?

[00:30:36] I would say most of them are.

[00:30:38] Or maybe actually have inflection in their voice

[00:30:41] that is easier to understand?

[00:30:43] Yeah, it's a sort of indicative intonation

[00:30:47] that tells how the individual feels

[00:30:50] and it is not sort of an ambiguous sarcasm

[00:30:53] that is very difficult to interpret.

[00:30:56] So you have friends.

[00:30:57] So you had a group and then you took 50%

[00:30:59] of another group.

[00:31:00] So where?

[00:31:01] Yeah, where are all your people now?

[00:31:04] Are they somewhere in the Zyandian?

[00:31:06] Well, I can show you if you're interested.

[00:31:08] Today is turning out much different

[00:31:12] than I thought it would you guys.

[00:31:14] Quickly onto the Ferris wheel.

[00:31:17] Okay, we're just gonna go back to the Ferris wheel.

[00:31:19] Hey, before we go, can we get at 12 more tickets?

[00:31:22] Yeah, definitely.

[00:31:23] I've got lots of tickets here.

[00:31:25] Thanks, Jonathan.

[00:31:26] Yeah, alright, thanks.

[00:31:27] Here's 12 tickets in exchange for the 12 tickets.

[00:31:29] Oh, thank you.

[00:31:30] Thank you, I appreciate that.

[00:31:31] Here's an extra ticket just for you.

[00:31:33] It's a tip.

[00:31:34] I'm gonna treasure this.

[00:31:35] Okay, let's run back to the Ferris wheel.

[00:31:37] Come on.

[00:31:38] Here, climb on.

[00:31:42] Should we go see this group?

[00:31:48] I mean, we're looking for society.

[00:31:50] We're looking for people and help and resources.

[00:31:53] But somebody who's collecting grenades

[00:31:55] seems like they might be troubled.

[00:31:58] Or they're super smart and pragmatic and know what it is.

[00:32:01] I mean, maybe the group that they're trying to kill

[00:32:03] is really bad.

[00:32:05] Like maybe the people that they're trying to harm

[00:32:07] are the other people who are taking 50%.

[00:32:09] The other people who took 50% of stuff at the community

[00:32:13] where we met the podcasters.

[00:32:15] You know?

[00:32:16] Yeah, if these people are trying to kill,

[00:32:19] you know, if these people are trying to kill this other group,

[00:32:23] those guys must suck, you know?

[00:32:25] Yeah, like Jonathan seems like he would only harm people

[00:32:29] for good reason.

[00:32:31] Or maybe he's so hard to read.

[00:32:34] I'm really struggling with my newfound romance.

[00:32:37] I don't know that he's the new Squeaks, you guys.

[00:32:39] Oh, we're passing him again.

[00:32:41] Hi, Jonathan!

[00:32:43] Hi, Jonathan!

[00:32:44] Hi, I'm really excited to be the new Squeaks.

[00:32:46] Oh, God, what did I promise?

[00:32:48] Oh, my goodness.

[00:32:49] I always move too fast!

[00:32:50] Damn you, Elizabeth!

[00:32:51] Damn you when you're moving too fast!

[00:32:53] Elizabeth, it's okay.

[00:32:54] I'm gonna do the thing. Do the sound.

[00:32:56] Wee-hoo! Wee-hoo! Wee-hoo!

[00:32:59] It's gonna be okay.

[00:33:01] I think we go for it.

[00:33:05] What do we got to lose?

[00:33:08] Another arm?

[00:33:09] Yeah, I mean, the group they're looking for,

[00:33:13] you know, that couldn't be us.

[00:33:15] I'm ruling that out right away.

[00:33:17] No, we're not a group or a family.

[00:33:19] Yeah, exactly.

[00:33:21] They didn't say they were looking for a family.

[00:33:23] No, and what would they want with us?

[00:33:25] We're just three family friends.

[00:33:29] Just, you know, trying to find love in the home

[00:33:32] and acceptance and stability and food

[00:33:35] and warmth and comfort and fun times.

[00:33:39] I mean, we're not a threat to anyone.

[00:33:41] We've had exclusively positive interactions

[00:33:44] for at least seven episodes.

[00:33:47] So I think what we could do,

[00:33:49] okay, so, oh, we're going around again.

[00:33:51] Jonathan, hi!

[00:33:53] Hi, it's great to see you guys.

[00:33:55] Okay, we're almost done.

[00:33:57] Okay, so I think what we should do

[00:33:59] is we'll go as a family to meet this other group

[00:34:02] and then we will decide if we like them.

[00:34:06] Like when you interview for a job.

[00:34:08] You interview the interviewer

[00:34:10] to decide if you want that job,

[00:34:12] not the other way around.

[00:34:13] We hold the power.

[00:34:14] We have our three questions now

[00:34:16] and I don't think anybody could slip through them.

[00:34:19] Yeah, it's like it's a real hot job market

[00:34:22] for people trying to join groups, I think.

[00:34:25] Yeah, I think it's really...

[00:34:27] we're the ones with the power, so we'll go in.

[00:34:31] And if we don't like the cut of their jib or whatever,

[00:34:34] we will just back away and carry on to California.

[00:34:37] I think that's a safe bet.

[00:34:39] Worst case, we just kick their asses

[00:34:42] like we've been doing with everybody else

[00:34:44] we've run into.

[00:34:45] Well, that's true. Only people who deserve it.

[00:34:48] Yeah, only people who deserve it, obviously, like Gertrude.

[00:34:51] Okay, we're down at the bottom.

[00:34:53] Hello again.

[00:34:54] Jonathan.

[00:34:55] Great, great.

[00:34:56] Hi.

[00:34:57] So glad you're back.

[00:34:58] Hi, sweetheart.

[00:34:59] Yeah, I totally missed you.

[00:35:00] Hey, Jonathan,

[00:35:01] I think we would love to come meet your group.

[00:35:04] That's fantastic.

[00:35:06] I'm very excited.

[00:35:07] They're going to be so excited to meet you.

[00:35:09] Oh, excellent.

[00:35:10] I just, I think if you're going to be hanging out with my

[00:35:13] surrogate daughter Elizabeth,

[00:35:15] it's only fair that I meet your surrogate parents.

[00:35:19] I assume your group also considers itself a family.

[00:35:23] Yeah, we definitely consider ourselves a family.

[00:35:26] That would definitely be something that we consider ourselves.

[00:35:29] Okay.

[00:35:30] Well, we have a fire truck just up the road.

[00:35:34] Oh, a fire truck.

[00:35:35] That sounds really efficient for getting around.

[00:35:38] It is.

[00:35:39] It's very efficient.

[00:35:40] It is, it is.

[00:35:41] I mean, I did the math and I'm, well, I'm actually not good at math.

[00:35:45] Yeah, it's great to make lots of noise when you've got zombies around.

[00:35:49] Well, what we've also discovered is the siren keeps the cats away.

[00:35:52] And it's true.

[00:35:53] Yeah, and the cats are much more of a threat.

[00:35:55] Yeah, I don't know if you've had the cats.

[00:35:57] I have met cats and I would definitely also prefer to keep them away.

[00:36:02] Okay.

[00:36:03] Okay.

[00:36:04] So not an animal person?

[00:36:05] Okay.

[00:36:06] That's a fine.

[00:36:07] Mental note.

[00:36:08] Um, all right.

[00:36:09] Well, let's go back.

[00:36:11] I hate to leave without having rode all of the rides, but what if we just do it a quick whip round?

[00:36:18] Okay.

[00:36:19] Montage style.

[00:36:20] Yeah, real quick montage.

[00:36:21] Um, Jonathan, have you ever done a montage?

[00:36:23] Yeah, I do montages all the time.

[00:36:26] Oh, perfect.

[00:36:27] Okay.

[00:36:28] Let's go.

[00:36:29] Let's go.

[00:36:30] Here's me.

[00:36:31] I'm on the swans.

[00:36:32] I'm on the swans, sliding around the pond thinking about my new romance with Jonathan

[00:36:36] wondering if maybe I should break up.

[00:36:39] I'm on this wooden roller coaster.

[00:36:41] It'd be cooler if it was metal.

[00:36:43] Oh, there's a metal roller coaster too.

[00:36:45] All right.

[00:36:46] I'm going to jump off this car and make it to the other roller coaster in a big jump.

[00:36:50] That was very cool.

[00:36:51] I'm sitting in a tea cup, but I'm not spinning because that's too intense.

[00:36:55] And oh no, I spent a moment alone with my thoughts and I Jesus, we've been through

[00:37:01] a lot.

[00:37:02] Think about your new family.

[00:37:05] Woohoo.

[00:37:07] I'm just counting my tickets.

[00:37:10] Okay, guys.

[00:37:11] Okay, I think we're done at the park.

[00:37:14] Yeah, we don't have time for any more montage.

[00:37:17] Okay.

[00:37:18] That was great.

[00:37:19] All right.

[00:37:20] Well, Jonathan, follow us over to our fire truck and you're going to have to

[00:37:24] pick a spot in there because I suspect you're going to be hanging around with

[00:37:28] us a lot.

[00:37:29] Yeah, I can't wait for that.

[00:37:30] Yeah, or maybe just for just a little bit.

[00:37:34] I'm not sure.

[00:37:35] Jonathan, at least until you've given me grandchildren.

[00:37:38] Oh God, Margaret, who's moving fast now?

[00:37:41] I'm just kidding.

[00:37:43] Okay.

[00:37:44] Jonathan, show us the way.

[00:37:47] All right.

[00:37:48] So yeah, we just want to go up this direction here.

[00:37:51] Okay.

[00:37:52] And then, yeah, you're really good at driving by the way.

[00:37:56] Yeah.

[00:37:57] I just want to let you know that.

[00:37:58] He is.

[00:37:59] He's really good.

[00:38:00] Mostly.

[00:38:01] Yeah, that's what I said.

[00:38:02] Okay.

[00:38:03] Yeah, you're going to want to pull over right here.

[00:38:07] Yeah.

[00:38:08] And go ahead and open the doors because they're going to come in now.

[00:38:15] Oh, oh, there's a lot of them.

[00:38:19] Oh, that's a lot of people.

[00:38:22] They are all sort of scary.

[00:38:25] Kind of just looking at us.

[00:38:27] All holding yogurt cups.

[00:38:30] What?

[00:38:31] Jonathan, does your sort of menacing looking group have a name?

[00:38:37] Yeah, we call ourselves the Robbies.

[00:38:42] Oh shit.

[00:38:43] The Robbies.

[00:38:46] Guys, the Playboy.

[00:38:50] We took it from Robbie, the security guard.

[00:38:54] Oh.

[00:38:55] With the yogurt.

[00:38:56] We did have a negative interaction.

[00:38:58] It was just eight episodes ago.

[00:39:00] Shit.

[00:39:01] I think we're the group they've been looking for.

[00:39:04] Maybe he's going to say something nice to us.

[00:39:07] Yeah, it's probably no big deal.

[00:39:09] Hey guys, how's it going?

[00:39:11] All right, they're not matching my energy.

[00:39:23] I'm Jenny.

[00:39:24] And I'm Randy.

[00:39:25] And I'm Rob.

[00:39:26] And thank you for listening to Welcome to the Apocalypse.

[00:39:28] Next episode will be our season one finale.

[00:39:31] We will be bringing back some special guests from previous episodes,

[00:39:35] and it's going to be a madcap adventure for us all.

[00:39:39] Yeah.

[00:39:40] After that we're taking a short break before starting season two.

[00:39:44] But we may put out some behind the scenes content in the meantime,

[00:39:47] so keep an eye out for that.

[00:39:49] For the finale, we'll also be picking out a random review

[00:39:52] and sending that review or some WTTA merch.

[00:39:55] So if you've been crafting an amazing review,

[00:39:59] be sure to get it in soon.

[00:40:01] If you want to send us a message or get in touch with us,

[00:40:03] you can find all our contact information at podcast.gov.com.

[00:40:07] And no one has done it yet, so we really need to hear from you

[00:40:09] because I require validation.

[00:40:12] While you're there, be sure to check out our other shows

[00:40:15] like Run For Your Lives.

[00:40:17] If you're a zombie fan, which I assume you are

[00:40:19] if you're listening to this show,

[00:40:21] Peik and Daphne just covered the zombie movie World War Z.

[00:40:25] So go check that out.

[00:40:27] Special thank you to our guest Jeff for entering the apocalypse with us.

[00:40:31] And that is our show.

[00:40:33] Until next time.

[00:40:35] Yeah, welcome to the apocalypse.