Desperate to escape a zombie infested Boston, our plucky survivors stumble upon a grizzled fisherman, Roger, who promises safe passage around the city. The group must decide to face the hoard of undead or risk discovering if Roger harbors dark secrets onboard?
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[00:00:00] Previously, unwelcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:00:09] Everybody loves Squeaks.
[00:00:11] Well I love you guys.
[00:00:12] Oh god!
[00:00:13] The worst possible way to die!
[00:00:17] How are we gonna tell Elizabeth when she wakes up?
[00:00:20] Angry Adam, look there's someone in the road up ahead.
[00:00:23] Margaret?
[00:00:24] Go chewed.
[00:00:25] When you got against Gooch.
[00:00:26] You'll see.
[00:00:27] What the hell did you get a pot this big?
[00:00:29] You know I have to feed all the cats.
[00:00:31] Angry Adam, wait!
[00:00:33] Gochewd has been feeding humans to our cats?
[00:00:36] I wouldn't be surprised if she was a new good cannibal.
[00:00:40] You know Margaret, I'm beginning to suspect why Charlie may have left you all those years
[00:00:44] ago.
[00:00:45] Oh you!
[00:00:46] Oh snap.
[00:00:47] Push.
[00:00:48] There's a man in the cave.
[00:00:51] There.
[00:00:52] Charlie?
[00:00:53] Oh no the cats.
[00:00:54] Oh no the cats.
[00:00:56] Oh they left behind was Bose.
[00:01:01] Oh!
[00:01:04] Oh!
[00:01:05] Oh!
[00:01:06] Elizabeth, how are you feeling now that you've woken up?
[00:01:07] That was...
[00:01:08] Oh!
[00:01:09] Oh!
[00:01:10] Oh!
[00:01:11] Oh!
[00:01:12] Oh!
[00:01:13] Oh!
[00:01:14] Oh!
[00:01:15] Oh!
[00:01:16] Oh!
[00:01:17] Oh!
[00:01:18] Oh!
[00:01:19] Oh!
[00:01:20] Oh!
[00:01:21] Oh!
[00:01:22] Oh!
[00:01:23] Oh!
[00:01:24] That was...
[00:01:25] I can't believe I missed everything.
[00:01:27] It was a hell of a day.
[00:01:28] Yeah nothing all that memorable happened.
[00:01:30] I think you know.
[00:01:32] Yeah and Grant, I mean we don't have to compartmentalize that much.
[00:01:37] I think we need to talk about what happened.
[00:01:40] I'm really sorry that I missed it and I wasn't there for you Margaret.
[00:01:43] That sounds really upsetting.
[00:01:45] I am so sorry about your frenemy.
[00:01:49] That's what we call those types of people in our lives now.
[00:01:51] They're frenemies.
[00:01:52] And you lost your frenemy and that can be really traumatic even if you felt you didn't
[00:01:57] want her in your life anymore.
[00:01:58] I think push a gun to a bat of soup and watching her be eaten by cats probably wasn't
[00:02:03] easy.
[00:02:04] Yeah.
[00:02:05] And then losing your husband a second time in such a dramatic way, well all I can say
[00:02:10] is when I woke up from that drug induced, I guess sort of like near coma.
[00:02:16] I mean I must have been really out of it.
[00:02:18] You were.
[00:02:19] I'm so sorry that I wasn't there and I do want you to know that I'll be there for
[00:02:24] you anytime you want to talk about it some more.
[00:02:26] And angry Adam, you should be able to open up to me as well.
[00:02:30] There's nothing to open up about.
[00:02:33] I've just created an alternate personality to deal with a grief that I haven't fully
[00:02:37] processed.
[00:02:38] Oh, you know angry Adam was there for me yesterday.
[00:02:43] He pat me on the shoulder.
[00:02:44] I pat you on the back for a long time.
[00:02:47] Yep.
[00:02:48] I'm trying to be dramatic, killing a friend and seeing a past love be immediately killed
[00:02:55] and I'm working through that.
[00:02:58] But there was one other thing that happened yesterday that I feel like we should tell
[00:03:04] you.
[00:03:05] Oh, okay.
[00:03:07] Um, so you remember your best friend in the whole world squeaks?
[00:03:12] Yes, I was wondering where squeaks was.
[00:03:15] I thought maybe he was out getting some food.
[00:03:19] Yeah, he.
[00:03:21] How can I put this?
[00:03:24] I'm going to try to put this delicately.
[00:03:28] Squeaks was painfully ripped to shreds by zombies in one of the most violent displays I've
[00:03:34] ever seen in my entire life.
[00:03:36] What?
[00:03:37] Squeaks was my person.
[00:03:38] I thought we were going to be together forever.
[00:03:41] I thought squeaks and I mean I know we hadn't declared anything but like I really thought
[00:03:45] we were growing closer and I really hoped that squeaks and I would be in love by the
[00:03:50] end of the travels.
[00:03:51] Oh, I can't believe that I've lost another chance at love.
[00:03:57] They're there Elizabeth.
[00:04:00] I'm patting you on the shoulder with my regular hand on my hook band.
[00:04:05] Thank you.
[00:04:06] I'm patting both you guys on the shoulder.
[00:04:08] Okay.
[00:04:09] I'm going to Adam watch the road you're driving.
[00:04:11] Oh no.
[00:04:12] Oh my god.
[00:04:13] We lost squeaks and now we've, we should get out and inspect the damage to the vehicle.
[00:04:26] Okay, let's climb out.
[00:04:29] Normally this would be something squeaky before I have to.
[00:04:32] We can just gotta be strong.
[00:04:35] Well, I've you know I've been to Boston before and I don't ever remember there being quite
[00:04:42] an amazing overlook of the city like this but do you see that?
[00:04:48] There's, oh my god there's thousands of zombies down there.
[00:04:53] No!
[00:04:55] Boston.
[00:04:56] It's gone.
[00:04:58] It's gone.
[00:04:59] It's just zombie land.
[00:05:03] That monument we all recognize from Boston over there.
[00:05:07] Look it's on the ground and destroyed and...
[00:05:11] I don't...
[00:05:12] Well, we've gotten pretty good at fighting the zombies but I don't think we can take out
[00:05:18] this many.
[00:05:19] Yeah, this is a couple too many.
[00:05:21] I would have thought that Mark Wahlberg would have done something about this.
[00:05:24] I can't believe he let it get this bad in his own town.
[00:05:27] Maybe the zombies took out the Dunkin' Donuts first and he just didn't have the energy
[00:05:31] to do it.
[00:05:32] They probably went after the funky bunch by the weakest links first and then worked up to
[00:05:37] mark.
[00:05:38] Oh, RIP.
[00:05:41] Unfortunately we do have to get through this.
[00:05:46] Do you see...
[00:05:47] Do either of you see any other options to get around?
[00:05:52] Well, we are right on the water.
[00:05:54] I mean there's a bunch of boats over here.
[00:06:00] I don't know.
[00:06:01] I'm not a...
[00:06:03] You know, I would be awesome on a boat.
[00:06:06] I know this about myself for a fact.
[00:06:09] I just have a feeling.
[00:06:11] I'd be just really good at boat stuff because I'm like a tough sailor, pirate, adjacent type
[00:06:18] individual.
[00:06:19] And you eat...
[00:06:20] You're spinach once in a while.
[00:06:21] I mean, I do eat my spinach and it makes me strong.
[00:06:24] Like the documentary animated series Popeye.
[00:06:28] Okay, so you don't know how to operate a boat is what I'm taking from that?
[00:06:34] Yeah, you could interpret it that way.
[00:06:38] Elizabeth, do you know how to operate a boat?
[00:06:41] Well the thing is everyone thinks I do because the story was that my family had a yacht
[00:06:47] and then my mother died following off it but as I confess to the two of you that's always
[00:06:51] been a lie and my mother just walked away and we never had a yacht.
[00:06:55] So I actually don't know how to pilot a boat, drive a boat.
[00:07:01] I don't even know how to talk about steering a boat.
[00:07:04] I don't even know how one does that or what words to use.
[00:07:08] But I think between the three of us we could probably learn.
[00:07:12] Yeah, you know what?
[00:07:14] I didn't realize any of us could operate a fire truck and we figured that out.
[00:07:18] Well, that's true.
[00:07:19] So let's make our way over to those boats and see...
[00:07:23] Maybe there's a small one that's easy to figure out.
[00:07:26] Wait, are we leaving the fire truck?
[00:07:28] Oh, all right, all of our memories are in there.
[00:07:32] I was thinking more like our stuff and our memories but like we also have a lot of stuff.
[00:07:37] Yeah, let's maybe we fill a bunch of backpacks up and have angry Adam carry them for us.
[00:07:44] Okay, you know, I can also carry some backpacks.
[00:07:46] No, I got it.
[00:07:48] I got it.
[00:07:48] I'll carry all nine backpacks.
[00:07:51] Okay, all right.
[00:07:53] This is no problem for me.
[00:07:54] Okay, let's look at these up.
[00:07:56] Okay, don't forget this sleeping bag and should we bring the the French press?
[00:08:01] Well, yes, oh yeah, obviously.
[00:08:03] And all of these shoes we got from Goachy's house,
[00:08:06] most of them don't fit us but you never know.
[00:08:10] They could be you good for currency somewhere.
[00:08:12] That's true.
[00:08:14] Okay, angry Adam, um, you're gonna need to stand up.
[00:08:18] No, yeah, give me a...
[00:08:22] Okay, you know, this is this is very sustainable.
[00:08:25] He's so strong.
[00:08:26] He'll be fine.
[00:08:27] Okay.
[00:08:28] All right, let's head over.
[00:08:30] Bye, Felicia!
[00:08:31] Felicia's the name I gave to the fire truck.
[00:08:33] Oh, how sweet.
[00:08:35] Bye, Felicia.
[00:08:36] I would wittily remark but I'm a little off you but...
[00:08:39] Oh, all right, well, let's go.
[00:08:42] Oh, all right.
[00:08:48] A lot of bird poop around here.
[00:08:54] Zed, I'm going to get it because I have the skills for this.
[00:08:59] Okay, I took care of that zombie.
[00:09:02] I didn't see angry Adam do anything but...
[00:09:04] Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:09:06] Well, he's carrying the backpack, smart guy.
[00:09:08] I thought he was our weapons guy.
[00:09:10] Okay.
[00:09:11] Nine bad bugs.
[00:09:12] What about that one over there?
[00:09:13] It looks quite spacious.
[00:09:15] I like its name, it's called the Sallyan
[00:09:18] which I think is quite cheerful.
[00:09:21] Let me knock on it and see if there are any ghouls there anything.
[00:09:24] Okay, just be careful.
[00:09:26] Okay.
[00:09:29] God Jesus Christ, who is up there?
[00:09:34] Oh, just shits someone on it.
[00:09:36] Sorry, Lee.
[00:09:38] Oh, who's making racket on the pier?
[00:09:41] Um, hi, my name is Margaret.
[00:09:44] I am a survivor of the zombie apocalypse
[00:09:48] and my friends here and I are looking for a way to get around.
[00:09:54] Go fishing.
[00:09:55] You look like you want to go fishing with that hook on your hand.
[00:09:58] Oh, who?
[00:10:00] You sassy man.
[00:10:02] Um, well, I never thought about it.
[00:10:04] Maybe I could...
[00:10:05] No, we're looking for a way to get around Boston.
[00:10:08] Do you happen to have a boat here?
[00:10:10] We could, um, come and do you?
[00:10:14] Ah, you can charter this vessel.
[00:10:16] I don't normally accept day charters
[00:10:21] but, uh, I guess in lieu of said circumstances,
[00:10:25] I could maybe make an exception.
[00:10:28] Yeah, I don't know what your economic business situation is
[00:10:32] but I would imagine it would be disrupted by current circumstances.
[00:10:36] Reservations have sort of tapered off
[00:10:38] uh, fishing charter businesses.
[00:10:40] We have a lot of shoes we could pay you.
[00:10:43] Yeah, do you accept payment and
[00:10:45] uh, mismatched shoes that only have small amounts of blood on them?
[00:10:49] Only small amounts you say.
[00:10:50] Do you have any with larger amounts of blood?
[00:10:53] You see, I...
[00:10:54] I think we have a couple of those actually.
[00:10:56] To say no more.
[00:10:57] We can definitely talk about a chart.
[00:11:00] Um, can I just confer with my friends for a moment about this?
[00:11:05] All right, who's that?
[00:11:06] Okay.
[00:11:07] So he wants very bloody shoes.
[00:11:10] I know I wasn't there for the last encounter we had with another person but
[00:11:16] it did go so well and
[00:11:18] I just really want us to be careful.
[00:11:19] I mean, we keep meeting people and then, you know,
[00:11:23] the ones we like, like squeak, they die!
[00:11:26] Um, uh, we, we, we, we, we, okay.
[00:11:30] Um, okay.
[00:11:32] Yes, Elizabeth, um, the thing with yesterday though was you weren't there with us.
[00:11:37] Oh!
[00:11:38] Because you weren't there, a lot of people died.
[00:11:41] Oh!
[00:11:42] You're here with us today so maybe nobody will die.
[00:11:46] Oh my goodness, do you think I'm...
[00:11:48] I am pretty important to the team.
[00:11:50] Yes, your medical leader.
[00:11:51] Okay, well let's find out this guy's name
[00:11:54] and uh, we'll see what the deal is.
[00:11:57] We don't have to commit to anything right now.
[00:11:59] Okay, excuse me, um, what is your name?
[00:12:04] Roger.
[00:12:05] As in jolly Roger.
[00:12:08] Oh, that's...
[00:12:08] That's cool.
[00:12:10] That's a cool name.
[00:12:11] I trust this guy.
[00:12:12] I'm putting my back backs on the boat.
[00:12:13] Okay, okay Roger, do you happen to know if there's any way into or around Boston?
[00:12:20] We're hoping maybe we can re-up our supplies, like get some food and maybe um...
[00:12:26] You're looking at the greatest restaurant in the world, the ocean.
[00:12:31] You can feed yourself, teach a man to fish and they can eat for a lifetime.
[00:12:35] You know that's it.
[00:12:36] That's true.
[00:12:37] You're gonna teach us to fish?
[00:12:39] I year half way there.
[00:12:41] Margaret is it?
[00:12:41] You've already got the tackle, we just need the bait.
[00:12:45] Is that what the bloody shoes are for?
[00:12:48] Well, that's for special fishing trip.
[00:12:52] Okay okay, um I don't...
[00:12:55] Yeah could you get us to as far as Rhode Island maybe?
[00:13:01] Oh, Rhode Island.
[00:13:02] Never heard of it, but I could get you perhaps to the south.
[00:13:10] Who?
[00:13:11] Okay, I'm not...
[00:13:12] Sounds like a real place.
[00:13:14] Not entirely confident in my Boston.
[00:13:17] You see boats don't go on roads, so I don't...
[00:13:20] I can't...
[00:13:22] It's the island I get but the road part I don't we can't.
[00:13:26] Yep, you are the expert in this situation so...
[00:13:30] Maybe if it was boat island.
[00:13:32] Ah, you're right.
[00:13:33] See islands?
[00:13:34] The sea island ocean island.
[00:13:36] I could...
[00:13:37] We could go.
[00:13:38] Yeah.
[00:13:38] Okay, let's...
[00:13:40] Elizabeth are you okay with boarding this boat?
[00:13:43] Angry Adams already on there.
[00:13:44] Well, yeah I mean I don't know that we have much of a choice and
[00:13:47] there are three of us and only one of him
[00:13:50] and he doesn't look to be that much of a threat
[00:13:54] and oh they're already leaving.
[00:13:56] It looks like they're already pulling out into the...
[00:13:57] Oh, oh quick, quick for us guys!
[00:13:59] Run, run, run!
[00:14:00] Okay, jump!
[00:14:03] What the hell guys?
[00:14:05] Yeah he just took off!
[00:14:07] Welcome aboard the Sallyhan.
[00:14:09] First we need to go over a few safety operations.
[00:14:11] I'm your captain, Jolly Roger.
[00:14:13] Hello.
[00:14:14] This should only be about a three hour tour
[00:14:17] but you know in the case of a water landing
[00:14:21] your seats turn into floatation devices so that's good.
[00:14:25] Um, I don't...
[00:14:26] I don't see any seats.
[00:14:28] Uh well.
[00:14:29] They're...
[00:14:30] Oh these are...
[00:14:31] Oh these are just like buckets.
[00:14:34] Right, but they also float.
[00:14:35] If you turn them upside down they float.
[00:14:37] You just have to hug them so it's okay.
[00:14:40] And their emotional support bucket.
[00:14:41] So you know, you can wrap your arms around and they'll make you feel good.
[00:14:44] Oh yeah!
[00:14:45] This one has a happy face drawn on it.
[00:14:47] I am feeling good.
[00:14:48] Exactly!
[00:14:49] That one's Wilson.
[00:14:51] Hey Wilson,
[00:14:52] you're afraid to name your own bucket friend.
[00:14:54] All right.
[00:14:55] This one...
[00:14:56] this one his name is...
[00:14:58] Uh...
[00:14:59] Nathaniel Thunder Violence III.
[00:15:02] Oh...
[00:15:02] Uh...
[00:15:03] He's awesome.
[00:15:05] This bucket's name is...
[00:15:07] Um...
[00:15:07] Oh I'm not...
[00:15:08] I'm not good on the spot.
[00:15:09] No, it's...
[00:15:10] Skip me!
[00:15:11] I'm gonna name my bucket.
[00:15:13] Um...
[00:15:14] A Rahima.
[00:15:15] She was a good friend of mine at the hospital and I do miss her quite a lot.
[00:15:19] And we never hung outside, like hung out together outside of work,
[00:15:22] but I'm on our breaks together often on the overnight shifts.
[00:15:26] Sorry I'm talking too much.
[00:15:28] I just...
[00:15:28] I kind of forgot how important my people used to be to me.
[00:15:32] Um...
[00:15:32] I think it was losing squeaks that is making me really rethink a lot of my decisions.
[00:15:36] And do you think I should have gone back to look for Rahima and like my other community members?
[00:15:41] Like I just sort of gave up on everybody and I just...
[00:15:43] Wee-hoo!
[00:15:44] Oh!
[00:15:45] Wee-hoo!
[00:15:46] Elizabeth,
[00:15:47] we're on a boat.
[00:15:48] If you pass out you could fall into the water.
[00:15:51] No!
[00:15:51] Remember,
[00:15:52] on the open ocean panic is your worst enemy.
[00:15:54] Okay.
[00:15:54] And...
[00:15:55] And...
[00:15:55] And whatever results is underneath the water that's also new.
[00:15:58] I just...
[00:15:58] I did a lot of drugs inadvertently
[00:16:00] and now I think I'm having a lot of emotional feelings.
[00:16:03] It brought up a lot.
[00:16:04] I'm sort of second-guessing a lot of the choices I've made in the past a little while.
[00:16:08] It's all right.
[00:16:09] You know...
[00:16:11] In the apocalypse,
[00:16:12] our feelings are going to flare up in crazy ways.
[00:16:14] You're right.
[00:16:15] Kill somebody you used to know or name a bucket.
[00:16:20] Um...
[00:16:22] No, I still...
[00:16:22] I still...
[00:16:23] I'll...
[00:16:23] Oh,
[00:16:24] skip me.
[00:16:24] Come back!
[00:16:25] Come back.
[00:16:26] I do have a question about naming the buckets.
[00:16:27] I know we need to move on but...
[00:16:30] What happens if I lose this bucket?
[00:16:31] Will I be losing Rahima twice?
[00:16:33] Oh...
[00:16:34] I mean, in a manner of speaking.
[00:16:37] Yes.
[00:16:37] You know what?
[00:16:38] I'm going to put...
[00:16:39] Can I take one of these life jackets, Jolly?
[00:16:42] Sure, sure.
[00:16:43] We have a few different sizes down there but if you need...
[00:16:45] You know...
[00:16:46] I'm putting a life jacket on your bucket Rahima here
[00:16:51] and this will keep them...
[00:16:53] Keep her safe?
[00:16:54] Yeah, her.
[00:16:55] It's this will keep her safe
[00:16:56] and you don't even have to worry about it.
[00:16:59] It will never happen.
[00:17:00] Nothing bad will happen to this bucket.
[00:17:02] The annual Thunder Violence does not need a life preserve
[00:17:05] or he'll be fine.
[00:17:06] Okay.
[00:17:06] With a name like that, you will be fine forever.
[00:17:09] Okay, let's get back to it.
[00:17:10] I'm sorry for distracting us.
[00:17:12] Oh, it seems like we're rounding some kind of a bend.
[00:17:15] Oh look there's a bunch of zombies on the shore waving at us.
[00:17:18] Do we wave back?
[00:17:20] Yeah, well...
[00:17:21] That's the normal courteous thing on the sea
[00:17:24] is to wave back at other boats and people that wave at you first.
[00:17:27] So yes, you wave at the zombies.
[00:17:29] Hi!
[00:17:29] I have zombies.
[00:17:31] I have zombies.
[00:17:32] Speaking of, um...
[00:17:34] Do we need to be worried about them out here?
[00:17:36] I haven't seen them on the top of the water.
[00:17:40] They don't seem to know how to swim very well.
[00:17:43] They only shamble into the water and then they disappear.
[00:17:46] So if you're very heavy and sink to the bottom
[00:17:49] maybe you have to deal with zombies in the ocean
[00:17:52] but I think we're safe right now.
[00:17:55] Okay, well since this is going to take us a little while
[00:17:59] do you happen to have any refreshments or our fire truck?
[00:18:04] You know that story.
[00:18:05] Our fire truck crashed.
[00:18:07] Oh, that'll just...
[00:18:08] And some of our food got ruined so
[00:18:12] do you have anything we could eat?
[00:18:14] Well currently I'm down to my last can
[00:18:17] of polypaneospam and a bottle of very, very, very, very, very cheap homemade bread.
[00:18:29] Cheap and homemade you say.
[00:18:31] Why'd you pay for it?
[00:18:32] It's kind of like a freaking lifestyle.
[00:18:36] I like I found it.
[00:18:38] Kind of something fermenting and it tastes like rum.
[00:18:41] That's pretty cheap, yeah.
[00:18:42] Well, pass it around I guess.
[00:18:44] We are for the next couple hours where we are sailors.
[00:18:49] We can sing a sea shanty.
[00:18:52] Is anybody known?
[00:18:53] He's sea shanty?
[00:18:54] Oh, I assumed you would know.
[00:18:57] This is my first...
[00:18:59] I mean yes, I know sea shanties.
[00:19:01] Wait, okay um.
[00:19:04] I'd like to be entertained.
[00:19:06] Yeah, let's sit down and teach us a sea shanty.
[00:19:12] Damn it.
[00:19:14] That's how I warm up my voice for singing.
[00:19:17] Yeah, it's salt air in the leaf.
[00:19:20] I also like swearing.
[00:19:22] It's cool.
[00:19:24] Ah.
[00:19:26] Once was a man from then, Tucket.
[00:19:29] Then Tucket.
[00:19:30] Who liked to hug a bucket?
[00:19:33] He used it to float.
[00:19:35] He did not float but he could not turn around
[00:19:40] and what's that over there?
[00:19:42] Oh.
[00:19:44] I see what was going to happen there.
[00:19:47] It's a...
[00:19:47] There she blows.
[00:19:49] Whoa, what the hell?
[00:19:51] I...
[00:19:52] We're all looking at things.
[00:19:53] What are we all looking at?
[00:19:54] Margaret, what do you see?
[00:19:56] Well, I'm looking back here and I swear
[00:19:58] I saw like an octopus tentacle or something hit the boat.
[00:20:03] What did you see?
[00:20:03] Well, I see on the shore
[00:20:06] like it looks like a food warehouse with the food
[00:20:10] spilling out of an unlocked door.
[00:20:11] It might be a trap though.
[00:20:13] What do you see, Adam?
[00:20:15] Yeah, I just saw...
[00:20:18] I also saw the tentacle.
[00:20:20] That seems kind of really relevant
[00:20:22] to our immediate well-being.
[00:20:25] Okay, so what do you think we should do?
[00:20:27] Should we worry about the tentacle
[00:20:29] or should we see if the food place
[00:20:30] is a trap or a food place?
[00:20:34] Let's see.
[00:20:35] What's tricky?
[00:20:37] One of those things may be a byproduct of that rum.
[00:20:40] That is true.
[00:20:41] Oh.
[00:20:42] But which one?
[00:20:44] I've seen a lot of tentacles in my day.
[00:20:46] Charlie Roger, do you have any like spears
[00:20:49] or anything?
[00:20:50] Should we be spearing this YORAR RC expert?
[00:20:54] Yes, so that's part three of the safety briefing.
[00:20:58] I forgot is repelling of deep ones.
[00:21:03] I forgot to mention that
[00:21:05] that island you see off in the distance.
[00:21:08] There used to be a cult on that island
[00:21:11] or so they say
[00:21:15] some bad things happened.
[00:21:17] Needless to say, after that cult disappeared
[00:21:20] a crack in it's kind of appeared
[00:21:22] like a very tentacle perhaps
[00:21:25] there's one that we see right here
[00:21:27] and it started disrupting my charters.
[00:21:32] Like a real crackin?
[00:21:34] You're saying there's a real crackin out here?
[00:21:36] Well, I mean if zombies are running around
[00:21:39] anything's possible Margaret.
[00:21:41] Yes, unless hey
[00:21:43] maybe this guy's just
[00:21:45] kuku bananas?
[00:21:48] I mean I'm also seeing a dannnacle.
[00:21:52] It's really just kind of hanging around
[00:21:54] just waving ominously.
[00:21:56] I'm getting a little frustrated here.
[00:21:58] I need us to make a decision.
[00:21:59] Are we going to go after the food or are we going
[00:22:01] to go after the cult crack?
[00:22:04] And I need someone to make a plan
[00:22:06] or I'm going to lose it.
[00:22:09] Which is the best option here?
[00:22:12] Do we fight this giant beast in the water
[00:22:15] or do we go over to that beautiful piece of land
[00:22:18] where food is just pouring out of a doorway?
[00:22:23] Hey kids, should our heroes go over
[00:22:26] to that beautiful island full of food
[00:22:28] or should they fight this tentacle monster?
[00:22:30] Yelger answer wherever you are
[00:22:32] and will count your vote.
[00:22:33] Welcome to the apocalypse.
[00:22:35] We'll be back after this break.
[00:22:39] Welcome back.
[00:22:41] We tell you the votes and a lot of you chose violence.
[00:22:44] Now back to the show.
[00:22:47] I'm getting tired of waiting.
[00:22:48] I'm just going to start shooting at the tentacle.
[00:22:52] Decision made I guess.
[00:22:56] Do you have any other weapons on here, Charlie Roger?
[00:22:58] Hold on down here in the in the galley next to
[00:23:01] next to this fam.
[00:23:02] I got a couple spears and a shotgun.
[00:23:05] It's waving more ferociously.
[00:23:09] Okay, Charlie Roger you go grab that.
[00:23:12] Elizabeth angry Adam.
[00:23:14] Yes.
[00:23:14] While he's down there,
[00:23:16] I don't know if you guys noticed this
[00:23:19] but
[00:23:20] Charlie Roger isn't really wearing pants
[00:23:24] but that's not even really the problem.
[00:23:27] Did you notice?
[00:23:28] I did notice.
[00:23:29] Did you also happen to notice
[00:23:32] that white mark on his butt?
[00:23:35] No.
[00:23:37] Yes, I'm.
[00:23:37] Oh, you guys weren't.
[00:23:38] Well, I was trying really hard.
[00:23:40] Margaret, my generation really tries
[00:23:42] to respect other people's bodies and we don't like to
[00:23:46] you know,
[00:23:47] ekegeptify anyone.
[00:23:48] So I was really trying to give him the respect and space
[00:23:51] that I feel like every human being deserves
[00:23:52] by not looking at his bare bum.
[00:23:55] Oh well, the generation I grew up in
[00:23:58] said, um,
[00:23:59] huh.
[00:24:00] You know, I think my generation
[00:24:02] may have been a little problematic now that I think of it.
[00:24:05] Um, but no guys,
[00:24:06] I think that might be a zombie bite.
[00:24:09] Oh everyone's got a zombie bite to you, Margaret.
[00:24:12] Can't we just let some people be
[00:24:14] just regularly better?
[00:24:16] I mean, I guess it's possible here's just bitten by
[00:24:18] like a human shaped shark,
[00:24:20] but I'm just saying
[00:24:22] while we're battling this tentacle monster
[00:24:24] we need to keep an eye on him.
[00:24:26] We're trapped on a boat here.
[00:24:27] If he turns, this could be trouble.
[00:24:30] Okay.
[00:24:31] Oh here he comes.
[00:24:34] Here you go.
[00:24:34] Here's a spear for you and
[00:24:36] well, you guys,
[00:24:37] you folks select which weapon you like.
[00:24:39] I would feel more comfortable with.
[00:24:40] I, you know, I don't want to
[00:24:42] you know, prescribe me weapons.
[00:24:44] I'll take the spear.
[00:24:45] Um, it doesn't look too heavy.
[00:24:47] I'll take the shotgun.
[00:24:48] Big surprise.
[00:24:50] I'll take this little sword.
[00:24:52] I don't think this is going to be helpful.
[00:24:54] I think that's a, uh,
[00:24:55] um, that's a letter opener.
[00:24:57] Oh, oh, sorry.
[00:24:59] Roger, I took your letter opener.
[00:25:00] No, no, no, that's quite all right.
[00:25:02] It's pointy.
[00:25:02] It'll, it'll do some damage if you fall on it.
[00:25:04] I mean, if they, it falls on something so
[00:25:07] really fine.
[00:25:08] Okay, good for hand to hand combat, I guess.
[00:25:10] All right.
[00:25:11] So what's the tactic?
[00:25:12] Do we like lure this thing onto the boat?
[00:25:15] Uh, well, I'm going to try and
[00:25:17] we're gonna throw some of those bloody shoes in the water
[00:25:20] to get it to chase us.
[00:25:21] And I'm gonna get the boat
[00:25:23] and drive it into the shallow water.
[00:25:25] Okay.
[00:25:26] We're gonna drown it.
[00:25:27] Oh, interesting.
[00:25:28] We're gonna reverse drown it.
[00:25:30] Thrust.
[00:25:31] Start throwing the shoes into the water.
[00:25:33] All right.
[00:25:34] Throwing out the shoe.
[00:25:39] I'm sorry.
[00:25:39] I have to tell you guys.
[00:25:40] I haven't been completely honest.
[00:25:42] I,
[00:25:42] I,
[00:25:45] I was part of that cult that someone was cracking.
[00:25:50] What?
[00:25:51] I have to redeem myself.
[00:25:52] It's been eating me up inside
[00:25:55] and I,
[00:25:56] I, I tricked you on board to help me fight the cracking
[00:26:00] because I couldn't do it by myself.
[00:26:03] Oh.
[00:26:04] Oh, buddy.
[00:26:05] You did not have to ask if you said there was some
[00:26:07] giant monster that needed killing.
[00:26:10] I was on board.
[00:26:11] You tricked the right group.
[00:26:13] Yeah.
[00:26:14] We're pretty good at killing.
[00:26:16] Especially Adam.
[00:26:17] He has creative ways of doing things.
[00:26:20] So you guys aren't mad.
[00:26:21] You are gonna help me?
[00:26:22] Well, I don't,
[00:26:23] I don't love liars.
[00:26:25] Um,
[00:26:26] I'm sorry.
[00:26:27] The apocalypse makes somebody do weird things.
[00:26:29] It's true.
[00:26:29] And also maybe that in my mind explains why you're not wearing pants
[00:26:34] because you're a cultist.
[00:26:36] Oh, you have my frocks in the wash.
[00:26:38] Okay.
[00:26:39] Well, let's do this.
[00:26:41] Let's take out this damn cracking
[00:26:43] and help you have a redemption arc
[00:26:46] in the apocalypse.
[00:26:48] Oh, I love it.
[00:26:52] Oh, it's getting close.
[00:26:53] Oh,
[00:26:55] duh.
[00:26:56] Tentacle.
[00:26:56] Ah!
[00:26:57] Oh, just a...
[00:26:58] Ah!
[00:26:59] Get your...
[00:27:00] Just a...
[00:27:01] Runhouse game.
[00:27:02] Ah!
[00:27:02] Get off me!
[00:27:04] Ow!
[00:27:05] You get off her, you bitch.
[00:27:07] Duck on me!
[00:27:09] I got it.
[00:27:10] I got your sit.
[00:27:11] Oh no, one of the tentacles has picked me up.
[00:27:14] Oh no!
[00:27:14] I'm sparing.
[00:27:15] Use the letter opener.
[00:27:17] Yes, Margaret get out the letter opener.
[00:27:19] Oh wait, I have a hook on me.
[00:27:21] Oh!
[00:27:23] Okay, it's okay.
[00:27:23] Oh, she got the G7 of the tentacle.
[00:27:25] All right, good.
[00:27:26] Margaret are you okay?
[00:27:27] I'm glad he dropped you back on the boat.
[00:27:28] That looked hard.
[00:27:29] Yeah.
[00:27:29] Hey, where's the gas pedal on this boat?
[00:27:31] I got it.
[00:27:32] I got it.
[00:27:32] Taxi Derbyman is going to have a heart attack
[00:27:34] when he sees what we brought him.
[00:27:36] Oh my goodness.
[00:27:38] Okay, let's finish this thing off.
[00:27:41] Oh wow, look.
[00:27:42] It's beak.
[00:27:43] It's coming out of the water
[00:27:45] and coming right for the boot.
[00:27:46] I'm going to spear it right through the brain.
[00:27:48] Ready?
[00:27:48] One, two, three.
[00:27:50] Whoa!
[00:27:51] Whoa!
[00:27:52] Oh, good wow.
[00:27:59] You know, I always used to pitch
[00:28:01] on my elementary school softball teams.
[00:28:04] I'm glad to see I still have the skill.
[00:28:06] Wow, you really...
[00:28:08] Those elementary school skills
[00:28:09] have come in handy.
[00:28:10] Yeah, wow.
[00:28:11] Thank goodness.
[00:28:12] Um, good job team.
[00:28:14] Um, uh, Charlie Roger, do you feel lighter?
[00:28:18] Like, uh, wait, spend lifted off your shoulders?
[00:28:21] I have one more confession to make.
[00:28:26] I do know where Rhode Island is.
[00:28:28] Oh, you...
[00:28:31] uh, I get...
[00:28:33] uh, if you weren't wearing pants,
[00:28:35] I'd come over there and give you a nookie.
[00:28:37] But since you helped me with the crack
[00:28:39] and I figured I can get you in for a little bit further.
[00:28:41] And we're just...
[00:28:42] It looks like we've found
[00:28:44] we've lost our opportunity to go to that
[00:28:46] place with the food spilling out.
[00:28:48] We passed it quite a ways away.
[00:28:49] But I guess it was probably a trap
[00:28:52] and we were lucky we escaped it.
[00:28:54] Yeah, you don't really...
[00:28:55] Yeah, it just seems like two...
[00:28:57] Two easy...
[00:28:58] Yeah.
[00:28:59] Two suspicious...
[00:29:00] Um, can I...
[00:29:01] I'm not...
[00:29:01] Roger, can I have a chat with you?
[00:29:03] Um, I just...
[00:29:04] Can you walk over here for a moment?
[00:29:05] Of course, of course, yes.
[00:29:07] If you've noticed, um,
[00:29:08] I am a medical professional.
[00:29:10] I...
[00:29:10] It says so on my...
[00:29:11] My blood blouse here.
[00:29:13] It says medical professional in the sharp area.
[00:29:16] I'm a team medical professional.
[00:29:17] And I would like to...
[00:29:19] I would like your permission to examine
[00:29:22] your right, um, bum cheek.
[00:29:25] Because it does appear
[00:29:28] to have a bit of a bite
[00:29:30] and work, and I'm very concerned that maybe
[00:29:34] it was a zombie by...
[00:29:37] Yeah, you know Elizabeth?
[00:29:39] Yeah.
[00:29:40] I trust your medical opinion.
[00:29:42] You can examine the bum cheek.
[00:29:45] Okay, thank you.
[00:29:46] So if you just come here lie down,
[00:29:47] uh, I'm just gonna...
[00:29:48] Margaret and Adam, can I get you over here to, uh,
[00:29:51] to help me, um, I get a need...
[00:29:53] Your Margaret, you hold the shirt up.
[00:29:54] Okay.
[00:29:55] Uh, okay.
[00:29:55] Not with your hook.
[00:29:56] Oh, that tickles.
[00:29:57] Hey, sorry.
[00:29:58] What do you do?
[00:29:58] Hey, that tickles.
[00:29:59] Okay, what do you guys...
[00:30:00] What do you think?
[00:30:01] Does this look like a zombie bite or just like...
[00:30:03] Do you know how this happened to you?
[00:30:04] Jolly, Mr. Roger?
[00:30:06] Uh...
[00:30:08] It's some...
[00:30:09] body's teeth clamped on in my posterior.
[00:30:13] Was it a living somebody or a dead?
[00:30:16] Uh...
[00:30:17] It was dark, um, but I...
[00:30:20] It didn't...
[00:30:21] It didn't feel like a person.
[00:30:24] I don't...
[00:30:25] I don't know what it was.
[00:30:26] Did you pay for this experience?
[00:30:29] Margaret.
[00:30:30] He's a sailor.
[00:30:31] Oh, that's true.
[00:30:32] Yeah.
[00:30:32] I, you know, uh...
[00:30:34] I did not pay for this.
[00:30:36] Uh, I feel like I'm gonna pay for this.
[00:30:38] Yeah.
[00:30:39] Um, was it...
[00:30:40] Was it a while ago or was it very recent?
[00:30:41] That will tell us, I think.
[00:30:42] Uh...
[00:30:43] It was, it was like a week and a half ago maybe.
[00:30:46] Oh, well then I think it's just a person bite.
[00:30:49] Um...
[00:30:49] Yeah.
[00:30:50] If it was a zombie...
[00:30:51] Yeah, it would have turned by now, right?
[00:30:53] You know what?
[00:30:54] I think you're probably fine.
[00:30:55] I'm just gonna clean it for you if you don't mind.
[00:30:58] Oh.
[00:30:59] Uh...
[00:30:59] It's dead.
[00:31:00] Yeah, I've got this medical kit here.
[00:31:01] I'm just gonna bet...
[00:31:02] You know, I should probably wear some pants
[00:31:05] or some underwear just to keep the wound clean.
[00:31:08] And I might explain the biting situation,
[00:31:10] the lack of pants.
[00:31:11] Gonna use your little open.
[00:31:13] Yeah.
[00:31:14] You know, it could have been the cracking.
[00:31:15] Well, I don't know.
[00:31:16] I just...
[00:31:17] No, I just don't think it's a zombie bite
[00:31:18] which is a relief because honestly,
[00:31:20] I couldn't handle losing any more friends.
[00:31:23] Or we would have had to kill you.
[00:31:25] Well that's also true.
[00:31:27] Not well, laws of the ocean and all kinds of things.
[00:31:29] Yep.
[00:31:30] All right.
[00:31:31] Um...
[00:31:32] So who was driving the boat?
[00:31:35] Oh, Hooper?
[00:31:36] Wait, no.
[00:31:37] Um, hold on.
[00:31:38] If I can go back up there to the helm,
[00:31:40] I'll get us to where we're going.
[00:31:42] Okay.
[00:31:43] Thank you, Charlie Roger.
[00:31:45] And Adam and I hooked the crackin'
[00:31:47] to the back of the boat for you.
[00:31:49] So you'll be able to bring it with you
[00:31:51] to your taxidermy guy.
[00:31:52] Oh, thank you.
[00:31:54] I can't wait.
[00:31:55] You know, you should chop off one of those tentacles
[00:31:58] and keep it as a souvenir.
[00:31:59] Oh, yeah.
[00:32:00] Well, you know,
[00:32:01] we're already carrying around an arm
[00:32:04] and also, I think, a skull now
[00:32:07] is in our...
[00:32:08] our ridicule.
[00:32:09] So I don't know that we need a...
[00:32:11] I agree.
[00:32:12] Yeah.
[00:32:13] Andri Adam could probably carry one more thing.
[00:32:15] Oh, okay.
[00:32:16] No idea.
[00:32:16] I could carry a giant monster tentacle
[00:32:19] in addition to the other
[00:32:20] in the door-eva cumulated.
[00:32:24] All right.
[00:32:24] So we're headed to Rhode Island now.
[00:32:26] Home of coffee.
[00:32:27] Is that where we're...
[00:32:28] That is good.
[00:32:29] Okay.
[00:32:29] So let's all just like sit down and relax
[00:32:32] and I think the sun is setting
[00:32:34] and we'll just...
[00:32:35] Just look at the water.
[00:32:36] And we'll just think about how this time tomorrow
[00:32:39] we're going to be in a whole new place.
[00:32:42] Yes, a magical place.
[00:32:45] A place where dreams are made
[00:32:48] Rhode Island.
[00:32:50] Rhode Island.
[00:32:51] You know what?
[00:32:53] I once had a boyfriend from there.
[00:32:54] He was kind of a dick.
[00:32:56] That makes sense.
[00:32:57] That tracks the weird place actually.
[00:33:06] Oh.
[00:33:13] Oh, look at that.
[00:33:15] I can see land getting closer.
[00:33:18] One last thing.
[00:33:19] I'm not allowed to step foot in Rhode Island
[00:33:23] for some minor lawn fractions back in my youth.
[00:33:27] Well, I don't...
[00:33:28] I don't know that the law really
[00:33:30] or borders are things anymore.
[00:33:33] Don't want a chance it.
[00:33:34] So I've got a few strikes against me
[00:33:36] and I don't want to...
[00:33:37] You know,
[00:33:38] I don't want this to be...
[00:33:39] You don't want to rock the boat.
[00:33:42] Exactly.
[00:33:44] You're a pretty good sailor,
[00:33:45] I don't mean you ever thought about becoming a first mate?
[00:33:48] Oh.
[00:33:49] You know,
[00:33:51] the sea calls but so does the land
[00:33:53] because there's...
[00:33:54] I think there's like more stuff
[00:33:56] to shoot at on the land.
[00:33:59] Like I feel like I got kind of lucky
[00:34:01] with the tentacle.
[00:34:02] Like that was uh...
[00:34:04] This was not typically gonna be a target rich environment.
[00:34:07] I think I'm gonna...
[00:34:08] I think I'm gonna stick the land for the most part.
[00:34:10] Well,
[00:34:11] just think about it.
[00:34:12] I'll be around.
[00:34:14] Got my number.
[00:34:14] Yeah, oh yeah.
[00:34:16] Yeah, let me...
[00:34:17] Yeah, let me write it down on this piece of paper.
[00:34:20] Always a spot on the salient.
[00:34:22] Charlie Roger, are we almost there?
[00:34:25] I'd say so.
[00:34:26] There's uh...
[00:34:26] There's a dock.
[00:34:27] Looks like up ahead.
[00:34:28] I think I can pull in there
[00:34:31] Captain Ron style.
[00:34:33] Flip her in.
[00:34:35] Perfect.
[00:34:36] Um...
[00:34:37] Well,
[00:34:38] you know, thank you so much for taking us
[00:34:41] on this amazing trip actually
[00:34:43] out. We saw things I never expected we'd see.
[00:34:46] Don't forget those knots I taught you.
[00:34:49] Never forget those.
[00:34:50] I've already forgotten them.
[00:34:52] Elizabeth,
[00:34:53] little brownie else was out of the cave, you know.
[00:34:56] This...
[00:34:57] Oh, I'll try.
[00:34:58] I'll keep trying to
[00:34:59] just so I can keep this memory alive and
[00:35:02] I've been...
[00:35:03] Mr.
[00:35:03] Jolly Roger,
[00:35:04] I...
[00:35:05] I'm gonna leave for Hema with you.
[00:35:07] Please keep her safe.
[00:35:08] She's a very important good friend really like Seinfeld.
[00:35:12] Please...
[00:35:13] Please keep her safe.
[00:35:15] Elizabeth, that's...
[00:35:16] I will and please...
[00:35:18] It's Captain Jolly Roger.
[00:35:19] I'm sorry.
[00:35:20] Captain.
[00:35:22] Um...
[00:35:23] Have a great life.
[00:35:24] And maybe we'll see you in California.
[00:35:27] Oh...
[00:35:28] You've heard it.
[00:35:29] Oh...
[00:35:30] Jolly Roger,
[00:35:31] I'm on to you and your little
[00:35:33] tricks young man.
[00:35:35] I'm gonna pinch your cheek.
[00:35:37] The one with the bite on it.
[00:35:39] Ouch!
[00:35:40] Um...
[00:35:40] I'm not attached to my bucket because I could never come up with a name for it so...
[00:35:45] Kick!
[00:35:47] Kick it into the water.
[00:35:48] I hope you didn't need that bucket.
[00:35:49] I think the fan you should stay on the boat.
[00:35:52] I think it's a better environment for him and uh...
[00:35:56] I don't know if I want to lose any more children.
[00:36:02] Oh yeah...
[00:36:03] Dark.
[00:36:04] Well, no, I'm dropping it off right here in the parking lot so...
[00:36:09] All right well let's...
[00:36:11] I guess we're on foot for a while now so let's...
[00:36:13] Hey uh...
[00:36:14] Hey do you guys see in the parking lot?
[00:36:16] Is that...
[00:36:17] Oh no way!
[00:36:19] Is that another fire truck?
[00:36:21] Oh my goodness!
[00:36:23] This is perfect!
[00:36:24] It's like a miracle.
[00:36:27] Yes!
[00:36:28] Well thank you Charlie Roger!
[00:36:30] We're waving so you have to wave!
[00:36:32] That's the rule of the sea!
[00:36:34] Oh boy!
[00:36:35] Bye bye!
[00:36:35] One voyage, good luck out there!
[00:36:38] Enjoy the island of Rose!
[00:36:40] Are you enjoying it?
[00:36:41] Bye!
[00:36:50] I'm Jenny.
[00:36:51] Hey now I'm Randy.
[00:36:52] And I'm Rob and thank you for listening to Welcome to the Apocalypse.
[00:36:55] If you want to send us a message or get in touch with us you can find all our contact information at podcastica.com
[00:37:01] And remember every fifth episode we're picking a random review and sending that reviewer some Welcome to the Apocalypse merch
[00:37:08] So get your reviews in soon!
[00:37:10] A special thank you to our guest Steve for entering the Apocalypse with us
[00:37:15] That's our show!
[00:37:16] Until next time
[00:37:17] Welcome to the Apocalypse
[00:37:21] Welcome to the Apocalypse